


Your name on my skin

by cian1675



Category: Block B
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Gen, M/M, past zikyung, some people have names imprinted on their bodies, sort of, taeil makes a cameo appearance, yukwon appears as a minor character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-19 19:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7374883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cian1675/pseuds/cian1675
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where some people are born with names imprinted on their bodies, Kyung wonders what it means for him to have Jiho's name on his inner arm, or for Jiho to have his across his chest.</p><p>He used to think he knows the answer, but now Kyung isn't so sure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Kyung thinks that maybe if Jiho’s name hadn’t been imprinted on his inner arm, or his across Jiho’s chest, he wouldn’t have held on for so long. Toxic relationships are only romantic in fiction, and even then hopelessly so. If he hadn’t grown so used to the sharp pains and twists in his chest whenever he thinks of the guy, maybe Kyung would have left earlier. Or maybe if he hadn’t been deluded into thinking that because he feels pain, there must be something he feels for Jiho that might be akin to love, because why else would he be in emotional pain and turmoil for Jiho if he didn’t love him? Or maybe, if he hadn’t been so insistent on making the words imprinted on their bodies mean _something_ , Kyung would have left a long time ago.

His thoughts are a jumble of words that simultaneously mean a lot but also make no sense at all, and Kyung thinks that maybe thinking too much like this was what had gotten him into this mess to begin with.

 

 

When Kyung gets to Jaehyo’s apartment, he knocks on the door, hoping his friend is awake at the late hour. The decision to just walk out of the place he has (had) shared with Jiho hadn’t been a well-thought out one, so Kyung only has the clothes he had been wearing, and a small overnight bag with whatever he had thought he’d need to stay at someone’s (anyone’s) place. When the door opens, instead of Jaehyo, Kyung sees an unfamiliar face, and he automatically double checks the address he has on his phone with the unit number in front of him, although he’s quite sure that this is Jaehyo’s unit.

“Who are you?”

The two of them ask the question at the same time, and Kyung would probably find it funny in any other situation, but right now he can’t find the mood to laugh. He just tiredly drags a hair through his hair (or attempts to, because he forgot he had put on a snapback), and says, “I’m looking for Jaehyo hyung.”

“Oh,” the guy at the door says, and turns behind to yell, “Jae, someone’s at the door for you.”

There’s shuffling steps and Jaehyo appears, tugging his t-shirt into place, and Kyung vaguely wonders if he might be intruding on something. Then again, the guy who had opened the door is wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, neither of which look like they had been hastily thrown on just to answer the door, so maybe Jaehyo just hadn’t been wearing a top in his house.

“Kyung? What are you doing here?”

“I decided to leave Jiho,” is the only thing he manages to say, before his breath hitches, and he’s trying his best not to cry in front of Jaehyo and a complete stranger.

 

 

The stranger’s name is Minhyuk and he’s Jaehyo’s flat mate, Kyung learns, once they had him sit down in the living room, and Minhyuk brought him a cup of warm tea. Jaehyo’s sitting in front of him, face clearly drawn with concern but not pressing Kyung to say anything for now. Kyung sips at the weak tea, sniffing a bit, and finds some tissues being waved in front of him.

“Thanks,” he manages to say, as he takes the tissues from Minhyuk’s outstretched hand. Jaehyo’s hand is on his shoulder, patting gently, and Kyung suddenly feels like crying all over again. But he takes a deep breath, and says instead, “C-can I stay over tonight?”

Jaehyo gives him a questioning look, but answers, “Yeah, if you don’t mind the couch. But in exchange for the favour, you have to tell me what happened, okay?”

Kyung nods, and he’s glad Jaehyo isn’t insisting that he spill the beans now, even though he looks like he wants to know what had happened. Jaehyo had always expressed his concern about what he had called Kyung’s “unhealthy relationship” with Jiho, but Kyung hadn’t taken any of his advice back then. He thought Jaehyo was wrong, maybe jealous even, of the bond he had with Jiho, both of them with each other’s names on their body, whereas Jaehyo doesn’t have any names imprinted anywhere on his body.

Kyung rubs his eyes, putting the tea down, so he can lie down on the couch that is his bed for tonight. Maybe Jaehyo had been right, and Kyung had just been too blinded by the possibility that the mutual imprint of names was an indication of him and Jiho being soulmates that he hadn’t considered anything else. Despite the events of the day, Kyung falls into sleep easily once Jaehyo switches off the living room lights, his mind and body both exhausted. While drifting into sleep, Kyung feels something warm cover his body, and he inwardly thanks whoever had brought him the blanket.

 

 

The next day, Kyung wakes up to the sounds of someone cooking, and he sits up to find Minhyuk in the kitchen, moving around as he cooks. “Where’s Jaehyo hyung?” Kyung asks, mouth dry from sleep, wondering if he had packed a toothbrush in his bag yesterday.

“He’s out but he’ll be back soon,” Minhyuk answers without looking up from his pot which is making the house smell wonderfully like kimchi and meat right now.

Kyung’s stomach growls just then, and he remembers that he hadn’t finished his dinner after he started arguing with Jiho last night. He could use some food right now, but he doesn’t know if Minhyuk’s just cooking for himself (or maybe Jaehyo too). He’s quite sure that he’s not included though, so Kyung just shuffles to the toilet and washes his face after he fails to find a toothbrush in his bag. Looking at his dark eye circles in the mirror, Kyung wonders what a sight he’d make when he goes to the convenience store later to buy some ramyeon.

He’s just grabbing his wallet to head out when Minhyuk turns to him and asks, “Where are you going?”

“Convenience store.”

“Why?”

“Ramyeon,” Kyung considers that maybe he should be more polite to Minhyuk, whom Jaehyo had called hyung yesterday, but technically one-word replies aren’t overstepping the boundaries of polite speech.

“Why do you need to do that? I cooked enough for you too.” Minhyuk’s scooping rice from the cooker now, puzzled, and Kyung’s momentarily stunned before his senses return, and he walks away from the door to put his wallet back into his bag.

 

 

Jaehyo returns roughly when Minhyuk’s done dishing out the stew he had cooked into three separate bowls, and Kyung thinks he might look… angry, but Jaehyo hardly ever gets properly angry even if he gets frustrated and annoyed in all the years Kyung’s known him since high school. The look on Jaehyo’s face passes too quickly, and Kyung doesn’t mention it in case he had just been imaging things. Jaehyo quickly seats himself at the dining table, smiling as he thanks Minhyuk for cooking, and Kyung mumbles thanks as well.

“Don’t worry about it,” is all Minhyuk says, a hint of a smile in his eyes.

 

 

They eat most of their lunch in silence, Jaehyo passing glances in Kyung’s direction, and Minhyuk just eating like nothing’s wrong. Minhyuk finishes his food quickly, getting up to go back to his room, and it is only then that Jaehyo finally ask, “Kyung, what happened? Why did you suddenly leave Jiho and come here yesterday night?”

Kyung puts down his rice bowl, thinking about where to start, and he’s glad he’s numb enough right now to not cry when he says, “I broke up with Jiho yesterday.”

The nod that Jaehyo gives suggests that he doesn’t think it’s a bad thing, and Kyung finds himself saying, “Maybe I should have listened to you and broke up with him earlier, but…”

“But?”

“But…” Kyung doesn’t know what to say, so he just points to his left upper arm where Jaehyo has already seen the words “Woo Jiho” on his skin, and Jaehyo nods, understanding.

“So, you decided not to let the names on your bodies affect your choices now?” Jaehyo asks cautiously, and Kyung nods, hugging his arms. It had been a hard decision to make, so entrenched he had been (and still is) in the romantic notions of soulmates, of people who are meant for each other, of fairytale-like love stories and cliché romance novels where no trouble can separate the two who were meant to be together. Kyung thought that if he had hung on, and tried his best to make things work, his relationship with Jiho would eventually work out, and maybe he’ll have the love story he’d seen so many times in books and movies, which have popularized the notion that the names some people have on their bodies are the names of their soulmates.

To be honest, no one really knows what the names on their bodies mean. Some people have them, and others don’t, and no one knows why that’s the case, what the significance of the name is, or if there is even any meaning. Maybe it is human nature to want to find explanations for something we don’t understand, and popular culture had tapped on the phenomenon to churn out stories of romantic soulmates to feed the masses, and Kyung had so willingly imbibed them all without questioning.

But really, the soulmates explanation is only one possibility, and for all he knows, the name could be referring to someone who’s going to make your life hell, and the moment the thought occurs to him, Kyung blurts it out, causing Jaehyo to laugh uproariously.

“That,” Jaehyo says after he stops laughing, “That might actually be closer to the truth.”

Kyung accidentally lets slip a “How would you know, hyung? You don’t have a name on your body.” which he regrets because he knows how much Jaehyo hates it whenever the topic is mentioned. But the dark look in Jaehyo’s eyes isn’t his usual annoyance at the subject; it’s something else.

“I do,” Jaehyo admits softly, fingers rubbing subconsciously on his wrist, and Kyung looks at Jaehyo’s bare wrists, free of any bracelets or watches, wondering how it’s even possible, until his eyes stop at the “K R” that Jaehyo has tattooed on his left wrist ever since he’s known him.

“Is that…” Kyung doesn’t finish his question, but Jaehyo has been friends with him for so long, he catches what Kyung means.

“I tattooed over it, because I didn’t want to look at it.”

 _Oh_ , Kyung thinks, fingers lightly touching his inner arm where Jiho’s name lies from habit. Maybe he should do the same.

 

 

He doesn’t ask Jaehyo about the name hidden under his tattoo, and Jaehyo doesn’t question Kyung’s sudden announcement that he’s going to get a tattoo on his arm, although he does follow Kyung around as he looks for the tattoo shop he had found recommended online. The shop doesn’t look like a typical tattoo parlor, no loud advertisements or tattoo designs plastering its shopfront, just some benches near the front and some guy at the counter, who gave Kyung a once-over and had asked for his ID.

Kyung hands his ID card over without saying much, unsure if the guy had asked because he looks underage (which is ridiculous because he’s already twenty-two), or because it’s a typical procedure in a tattoo shop. Jaehyo doesn’t comment, so Kyung just waits until his ID is handed back to him and a bunch of forms are being thrusted into his hands.

He’s seated and waiting for his turn after he hands over the forms, and Jaehyo who had been silent throughout suddenly asks, “Are you sure about this?”

“I don’t know,” Kyung answers truthfully, which turns out to be the worst thing to say at the time, because the tattoo artist, a short but muscular man in round glasses with ink on both his arms, comes out from behind the curtains at this time, and says, “Maybe if you’re unsure, you should think about it more, before you get your tattoo.”

The guy at the counter is firm in asking that they leave, and that they should only return if Kyung finally makes up his mind about the tattoo. Jaehyo ends up having to hold his arm as he pulls Kyung’s frozen self out of the shop.

 

 

They’re sitting at a bench in the park near Jaehyo’s place, when Jaehyo opens his mouth to speak. Kyung expects it to be about how it had been a bad idea for Kyung to just go to a shop to get a tattoo without considering it more thoroughly, but instead, Jaehyo says, “She was my senior in middle school.”

There’s no explanation or elaboration, but Kyung thinks Jaehyo is referring to the name he had on his wrist, before the black letters K and R covered it up.

“She was really nice at first, and she had been the one to ask me whether I would like to be her boyfriend, because I was too scared to ask her first. She told me she doesn’t have anyone’s name on her body, and I told her it was alright, because I thought I really liked her and that was enough. I’d like to say that it didn’t bother me, but it did, because I was young, and when I eventually realized she had been lying, that she had another boy’s name on her inner thigh, I had blown up.”

Kyung listens, nodding once in a while. He doesn’t know why Jaehyo’s suddenly telling him all this, but he isn’t going to interrupt.

“It wouldn’t have mattered, that name on her skin, if she didn’t end up cheating on me with a guy who has that name, and didn’t even bother telling me that she was no longer interested in me. She had apparently been seeing him pretty much the whole time while we were together, and I thought then that maybe if I hadn’t been so blinded by how her name was on my wrist, I would have seen through the excuses she always made when she had to go off after school for yet another club activity, or how she always stood me up at the last minute on our dates.”

Jaehyo’s staring at a distance as he tells Kyung all this, and Kyung wonders if that’s the reason why Jaehyo had been so worried when he got together with Jiho barely a month after knowing him in his second year of high school.

Kyung remembers how excited he had been when he realized there was a Woo Jiho in his class, calling Jaehyo to tell him because his senior was the only one besides his family to know about the name on his arm. Kyung had made a point to talk to Jiho the next day, casually removing his school blazer so the end of Jiho’s name on his arm would peek out from under his short sleeved uniform top as he gestured. Teenage Kyung had been so ecstatic when Jiho had noticed the writing, grabbing Kyung’s wrist and pulling his sleeve up to check the name, before excitedly exclaiming that he has Kyung’s name written on his chest as well. _How young they had both been then_ , Kyung thinks, lips twisting up in a bitter smile, _and how naïve_.

 

 

They walk up the stairs to Jaehyo’s apartment once the sky starts turning dark, and Kyung’s greeted with what smells like dinner from the other side of the door.

“Your flat mate sure likes to cook,” Kyung says, to fill up the silence, and Jaehyo just shrugs.

“It’s one of the reasons why we managed to live together and not kill each other so far. He feeds me well.”

 _There’s some truth in that_ , Kyung thinks, as he tucks into the dishes and soup that Minhyuk prepared, wondering what the guy studies in university and why he can cook so well. He decides to compliment the cook, thanking Minhyuk for the delicious food, and is greeted with the sight of a dimple flashing on the guy’s face as he smiles at Kyung’s comment.

“I’m glad you enjoy the food. Jaehyo used to tell me how tasty everything is, but I think he’s grown used to it now.”

There’s a slap on Minhyuk’s thigh from Jaehyo, who tries to say that he’s still grateful for his cooking skills around mouthfuls of rice and meat, and Kyung laughs as Minhyuk yells at Jaehyo for spitting out rice and chewed up food onto his leg from speaking with food in his mouth.

Leaving the ruckus the two are making, Kyung gets up to scoop more rice from the cooker, surprised that he’s eating so much, but tucking in to his second serving with as much gusto as he did for the first. He doesn’t see the smile Jaehyo gives at the sight, or the dimple Minhyuk has on his face, but he can tell without looking up from his food that they’re a bit less worried about him today than when he had stumbled in their apartment last night.

 

 

It’s at night when the apartment’s mostly dark and Jaehyo’s already fallen asleep that Minhyuk walks into the living room in his pajamas, sitting down on the couch that Kyung’s lying on without touching him, that he says, “Jaehyo didn’t want you to know, but Jiho came in the morning and demanded to know if you were here.”

Kyung doesn’t know what to make of the news, so he doesn’t say anything. But Minhyuk doesn’t leave, so he decides to say, “Okay.”

Minhyuk’s brows are knitted together, like he expects Kyung to say more, but eventually he mumbles, “Jaehyo had to chase Jiho away because Jiho wanted to come in to see you after Jaehyo answered that you were in the house.”

Kyung imagines what Jiho must have looked like, eyes a bit crazed (an issue with how his eyes are slanted and intimidating, more than anything), and long limbs moving wildly as he struggled against Jaehyo, who’s stronger than he looks, as he had gotten pulled away from the door. He’s not sure why Jiho would come to find him, when the first thing he had done after Kyung finally announced that he’s done with Jiho – that they should break up – was to lock himself in the bedroom they had shared.

Kyung rubs his arms, suddenly cold despite the blanket he has over his body, and says, “Maybe you shouldn’t tell me this, if Jaehyo didn’t want me to know.”

Minhyuk stares at him, expression unreadable (not that Kyung knows him that well to read him anyway), and there’s a hardness to his jaw when he finally nods and says, “You’re right, maybe I shouldn’t have told you that.”

Minhyuk returns to his room, and Kyung feels the loss of warmth near his legs where Minhyuk had been sitting, near but never touching, and he pulls the blanket up over his face as he tries to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where this fic is going, or why it's even turning into a chaptered fic, when all I wanted to do was write something with Park Kyung and Minhyuk together after watching their V App (the extended Block B Unsecret Ep.4). But I kind of like what I've written so far.
> 
> It was supposed to be a oneshot exploring the idea of soulmates who have names on their bodies, and why it can be a bad idea to assume that there must be special meaning behind names imprinted on your bodies in such stories, but instead we have this 3k+ first chapter. And also, Kyung and Minhyuk are still barely more than strangers right now. I don't know how long it'll take to reach the relationship tag that I've put into this fic, but we'll see how it goes, lol.
> 
> Please let me know what you think, comments and kudos are very much appreciated!


	2. Two

_You don’t have to be a bad or toxic person to end up in a toxic relationship. In fact, neither of the parties involved has to be toxic but sometimes relationships can turn out that way._

Kyung reads the internet advice article twice, wondering if it’s true when applied or the relationship he had with Jiho. He’s in a lecture, but most people are distracted by their phones or doodling on their notes, so he doesn’t feel too guilty about reading relationship advice on his phone. It’s not like he didn’t already learn the current lecture topic during his advanced math classes in high school anyway. He wonders whether he wants the advice column to be true, because he doesn’t want Jiho to be a toxic person, or if it’s because he doesn’t want himself to be one.

_It’s easy to point fingers at the other person and find fault, but part of working out a relationship is to evaluate your own behavior objectively, and determine whether your actions are the ones causing the trouble in your relationship._

He’s on a different article now, and the lecturer is starting to speak louder after he had noticed that the students aren’t listening. It’s giving Kyung a headache. In the back of his mind, Kyung wonders if he should be the bigger person and evaluate his own role in their unhealthy relationship, because maybe…

(Maybe, he has just as much fault in it as Jiho.)

Kyung takes out a pen and doodles on his notebook, idly copying some formulas and proofs on the lecture presentation even though he knows how to do them already. Without looking at the screen, he starts solving the proof, only looking up to check when he’s done. Kyung expects to find the same set of workings on the Powerpoint slides, but he’s wrong, and his brain scrambles to pick out where the mistake lies.

(It’s in his third line of working.)

As he quickly jots down the lecturer’s answer for reference, Kyung considers that maybe this is his problem – that he thinks he knows everything, when he’s really just as clueless as everyone else. Arrogance, Jiho had called it. Confidence, Kyung had rebutted.

(It’s not like Jiho isn’t also full of it anyway.)

As he hears his thoughts in his own brain, Kyung thinks maybe the biggest problem all along is inside his own head.

(He’s too proud to admit when he’s wrong, even to himself.)

 

 

Kyung has been staying at Jaehyo’s apartment for the last three nights, and he’s run out of clothes. He’s currently wearing his last clean t-shirt, and he’s already worn the jeans twice (although it was already worn a few times before he packed it), so he’s considering if he can risk going back to his old place to grab some more clothes before Jiho gets home. He can technically just use Jaehyo’s washing machine, but Kyung also kind of needs other things that he didn’t think he would need when he had left, like his books and laptop, so with a glance at the clock in the cafeteria, Kyung calculates that he has maybe an hour to pack everything he needs before Jiho’s due home, and he dashes off to the bus stop.

In their apartment ( _Jiho’s_ now, Kyung corrects), Kyung’s glad to find that Jiho really isn’t home. The whole bus ride there, he had been wondering what would happen if he had remembered Jiho’s timetable wrongly (not likely. He had memorized it so he knows when Jiho’s hanging out late after lessons and abandoning him at home), or if Jiho had called in sick, or is just staying home for some reason. He’s relieved he doesn’t need to confront Jiho so soon, although he knows he’ll eventually have to talk to him to sort out their shared apartment.

(Who’s going to keep it? Will anyone continue renting it? Will Kyung have to find a new place? He can’t keep staying at Jaehyo’s.)

Quickly grabbing his clothes and laptop, Kyung stuffs everything he can fit into his backpack, remembering his toothbrush this time.

(Will Jiho notice its absence when he uses the toilet later today?)

Maybe he had miscalculated the timing, or spent too long in a daze while retrieving his toothbrush in the bathroom, because when Kyung emerges from the toilet, he hears a click, and the front door opens, revealing the familiar mess of dark brown hair hanging over slanted eyes.

Jiho’s back.

 

 

“You’re home,” Jiho says, like he’s returning to their apartment on a normal day, and that they hadn’t broken up three days prior. It isn’t even really a question, although it doesn’t seem like a statement with how it sounds unfinished.

“I just came back to take some stuff,” Kyung mumbles, trying to zip up his bag.

“Are you going back to Jaehyo’s?”

Kyung keeps silent. He doesn’t really think Jiho’s looking for an answer, not when Minhyuk had told him about how Jiho had found him at Jaehyo the day after he left, and had to be chased off.

Jiho’s scratching his neck, looking slightly exasperated when he asks again, “Are you going back to Jaehyo’s?”

“You know the answer to that, why do you need to ask?”

“I’m asking ‘cause I don’t know. Why else would I ask?” Jiho looks kind of tired, and Kyung wonders if he’s sleeping late writing music like he always does.

“I don’t know. You came to find me at Jaehyo’s before, didn’t you? Although he didn’t let you in.”

Jiho looks up at that, and says, “Yeah, I did. Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did wrong this time, but…”

“Stop it. I’m done.”

There’s a sharp pain in his chest when he sees Jiho flinch, but Kyung thinks maybe he deserves it, as he carries his bag and walks out the door.

 

 

When he gets to Jaehyo’s place, the sky has already darkened, and Kyung knocks on the door, waiting for someone to let him in.

“Just a minute!”

It’s Jaehyo who opens the door, and Kyung shuffles past him to change into indoor slippers. Jaehyo probably noticed his bulging backpack, but only says, “Dinner’s going to be ready soon,” before he disappears to his own room.

Kyung dumps his heavy bag on the couch, sitting down and observing Minhyuk’s back as he switches off the gas and plates the vegetables. Kyung stretches, hands raised to the ceiling and takes a deep breath while his eyes trace the outline of the hardworking cook in the kitchen, from the short black hair, to the tan neck peeking above his collared shirt, a black apron tied around his slim waist. It’s not the first time he finds himself wondering what Minhyuk studies in college, so Kyung asks, “Hyung, what do you major in?”

Minhyuk turns, taking in that Jaehyo’s not in the room before he figures the question was for him, “Me? I major in food science with a minor in nutrition. Why did you ask?”

“Just wondering, because you always cook, and I’ve hardly met a college student who can do it so competently. It makes sense now, I guess, why you cook so much. How did you end up as Jaehyo hyung’s flat mate anyway?”

“Ah, he’s a sports major, and our departments are nearby. I think I was looking for a place to stay when someone told me Jaehyo’s looking for someone to share his rent, and it just happened.”

Minhyuk’s answers are casual and sort of vague, and Kyung considers the meaning behind it. (Maybe he’s just overthinking things again.)

“So you don’t really know Jaehyo hyung very well then?” Kyung asks, after a while.

“I’ve lived in the same flat as him for two months now, so I’d say I know him some,” Minhyuk answers with a grin, before adding, “For such a young guy, I don’t understand why he has such middle-aged dad hobbies.”

“Fishing is not a dad hobby, hyung!” Jaehyo complains as he exits his room, having evidently heard their exchange. Kyung grins when Minhyuk turns to give him an eye roll, and Jaehyo fake tackles Minhyuk in return. (Fake because Minhyuk’s bringing out the food, and they will never harm him when he’s holding their dinner.)

 

 

Jaehyo’s washing the dishes, and Kyung’s helping because he feels like he should, as an uninvited guest. He’s soaping the plates, rubber gloves squelching when Jaehyo suddenly says, “Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you. Tomorrow’s Wednesday and you should stay out until after 11. Don’t come home before that.”

Kyung doesn’t understand. “Why Wednesdays, and why 11? Is there something going on that I shouldn’t know?”

“Mmm, Minhyuk has… guests over sometimes, but they always leave before 11pm, so I can come back to sleep.”

“Oh. _Guests_ huh?” Kyung’s staring at the soap suds, wondering why he suddenly feels empty when he had heard what Jaehyo said.

 

 

At night, Kyung’s standing at the balcony, a can of beer in hand as he takes in the view from Jaehyo’s apartment. There isn’t much to see, just rectangles of light from windows where people haven’t fallen asleep, and some cars going by, but he couldn’t fall asleep when he had lain on the couch earlier, so he’s trying to pass the time until he feels tired enough. He had read that beer’s good for making you sleepy, so he had taken a can from Jaehyo’s fridge, but as he tastes the alcohol, Kyung’s just reminded of the fact that the fridge he had shared with Jiho hardly ever had anything alcoholic in it, because both of them are lightweights so they don’t usually drink.

He shakes his head, because he shouldn’t be thinking of Jiho like this, like he’s reminiscing the time they’d spent. He’s too busy chiding himself to notice that his fingers are lightly tracing over Jiho’s name on his arm out of habit, and Kyung freezes when he realized what he had been doing.

_(Don’t do this. Don’t do this to yourself. Stop thinking about him.)_

Putting the can against his lower lip, Kyung tilts his head back as he tries to down the alcohol, hoping it’ll help him forget, for a while. Instead, he splutters as the beer gushes into his mouth suddenly, and Kyung ends up trying to his best not to spit everything out while trying to breathe. There’s a hand taking the can away from him, and another on his back, patting while Kyung coughs after managing to swallow the beer. After a while, he realizes it’s Minhyuk.

“Are you okay?” There’s concern etched on Minhyuk’s face, the contours of which are amplified by the streetlights contrasting with the darkness of the apartment. Minhyuk’s hair is sticking up in funny places, and Kyung thinks he might have been sleeping, and only came out to pee or get a glass of water before he ended up witnessing Kyung choking.

“Yeah, just choked. It’s fine,” Kyung mumbles, hoping Minhyuk will leave, so he can cough properly and get out whatever little bit remains in his windpipe. Instead, Minhyuk pulls a stool to sit beside him, so Kyung quickly coughs to clear his airway because he can’t pretend anymore.

There’s more patting on his back, and Kyung blinks, vision suddenly blurred because he got teary. He tries to wipe it away discreetly, but Minhyuk probably saw it. _It’s just a side effect of almost choking and then coughing too hard_ , he thinks, _nothing else._ Minhyuk doesn’t comment, just pats his back gently until Kyung stops coughing.

“Feeling better now?” Minhyuk asks, when Kyung finally stops. He nods a bit, because he knows Minhyuk’s referring to the coughing, and not his embarrassment. When it seems like Minhyuk isn’t going to leave any time soon, Kyung decides to ask something he’s been wondering since he had finished drying the dishes with Jaehyo.

“Jaehyo hyung told me to come back after 11 tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah. That. I almost forgot, it’s a good thing he told you.”

Minhyuk’s not giving Kyung the answers he’s looking for, so he tries again, “So, I guess I should come back only after 11pm then?”

“Yeah…” Minhyuk replies, voice firm, although his brows are knitted in puzzlement.

Kyung wonders what he’s so puzzled about when he’s the one trying to figure out what Minhyuk’s doing tomorrow night that necessitates his flat mate (and Kyung) to be away. But he doesn’t get the chance to, because Minhyuk’s standing up, putting the stool back in place, and walking back to this room.

“Good night, don’t choke again.”

Kyung blinks, but doesn’t answer Minhyuk. Instead, he finishes the rest of his beer. Kyung remembers to close the doors to the balcony before he crawls under the blanket, waiting for sleep. As he lies on the couch, feet sticking off the end, Kyung doesn’t think about Jiho (lies) or Minhyuk (more lies).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyung's passive aggressive, among many other things. Don't follow what he's doing.
> 
> Other than that, I just want to ask, do you think Minhyuk has a name on his body, and if so, who? I've already decided the answer, but it's not going to be revealed yet. But I thought it'll be fun for you readers to think about, because the answer is important for the progress of this story (and also the answer to "what's the significance of the names on people's body?").


	3. Three

When Kyung was younger, he used to wonder what will happen when he meets Woo Jiho. He never really had any doubt that he’ll eventually meet someone (or even someone _s, plural_ ) with that name, though for what reason, he didn’t know. That blind faith had been so innocently naïve, and so hopeful, Kyung recalls. And so was the excitement over meeting Jiho in high school when he was eighteen, heart racing, and breathing just a bit too fast at finally meeting the person he had been waiting for as long as he can remember.

Now, standing outside the door to the apartment he had shared with Jiho, Kyung feels the racing of his heart, and hears the uneven breaths he’s taking, but the reason for these physical signs have changed.

 

 

Kyung had seen Jiho’s message while in tutorial, so he hadn’t opened them immediately. Only after the lesson had ended did he read Jiho’s text, asking Kyung to come over because they need to talk. There’s no emojis, no punctuation, just words spelled in full, the way Jiho always texts, making even the most innocent of message sound ominous. Though, this one in particular was probably already ominous to begin with.

He knows, realistically, that they need to talk. That Jiho had managed to not send him any messages asking him to meet up for a few days is already something of a miracle, but Kyung had been hoping he could put it off longer. But he supposed maybe he should just go ahead and get this over with, so he can sever his ties with Jiho, and stop thinking about the guy he thought he’ll be with forever since he was a child.

(Forever had been such a naïve notion anyway.)

 

 

In front of the door, Kyung’s debating whether he should key in the passcode and let himself in, or knock so Jiho can open the door for him. After a while, having raised his hand, poised to knock, but never actually letting his knuckles come to contact with the door, Kyung finds his fingers instead automatically reaching for the number lock, pressing the buttons with the ease of habit. 0-9-1-4, Jiho’s birthday.

Since he had spent way too long trying to open the door, his body had ended up deciding the choice to take in the end (which, _isn’t it poetic, how the body remembers even if the mind wishes to forget_ , Kyung thinks with a bitter smile). Kyung expects the door to finally open after his little silly inner conflict, but instead, there’s a loud beep, as the lock rejects his password, and Kyung’s stunned.

(Did Jiho change the passcode?)

He’s still wondering if he should key the passcode again (maybe he had keyed it wrongly), or try a new one, when the door clicks, and is pulled open to reveal Jiho, tired with day-old stubble on his face (Kyung definitely remembers that Jiho had been clean shaven when he had ran into him yesterday).

“Come in,” Jiho says, without explanation for the changed passcode. Kyung stares at him, unmoving, until Jiho has to gently wrap his fingers around Kyung’s forearm to guide him into the house. Only when the door closes again, does Kyung snap out of his reverie, his lips moving to say, “You changed the passcode.”

“Yeah, I did.”

Jiho’s walking into the living room, so Kyung follows, mind reeling as he lists the possible reasons for the changed door code. He sits down on the couch, noting that it’s hard and lumpy compared to the one he’d been sleeping on at Jaehyo’s, and part of his mind drifts off to wonder what he and Jiho had been thinking when they bought this terrible piece of furniture (they probably hadn’t been thinking, too engrossed in each other as they walked around the furniture store, trying not to gross people out with their PDA). The other part is still listing possible reasons for the changed code, so Kyung doesn’t realize Jiho had been talking to him, until Jiho’s holding him by the shoulder, shaking him slightly.

“Kyung? Kyungie?”

The nickname throws him off-guard. (It’s not fair, how Jiho still calls him that, when they’re over now.) Kyung blinks slowly before he says, “Yeah, I’m listening now.”

“Okay. I didn’t think you heard what I said just now, so I’ll repeat myself. If, _if_ we’re really breaking up now, we need to do something about this apartment, and all the things we share.” Jiho’s having his full attention on him, and Kyung wonders how long it has been since the two of them have looked at each other face to face, sincerely like Jiho’s doing right now. (Too long.)

“If?” Kyung asks, having picked up Jiho’s emphasis of the word, “What do you mean _if_ we are breaking up? Haven’t I already said that we’ll be breaking up? Aren’t we already broken up –”

“I said if, because you know this is not the first time you’ve said you wanted to break up, Kyungie,” Jiho glances away for the first time during the conversation, and that gesture raises the hair on Kyung’s skin.

“Why aren’t you looking at me, Jiho?” he asks, fingers lightly grazing Jiho’s cheek as he turns Jiho’s face towards him.

“Because, I-I, I don’t know.” Even though Jiho’s face in his hand is facing him, his eyes are lowered and avoiding Kyung’s gaze, long lashes fanning over his skin which has an oily sheen that’s probably from staying in the house the whole day (that’ll explain the stubble too).

“What don’t you know?” Kyung asks, thinking his own voice sounds way too calm for how hard his heart is beating right now.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Jiho finally says, squeezing his eyes tightly shut, and Kyung feels his fingers grow damp from where they are resting against Jiho’s cheek. Something twists in his chest, and Kyung has never felt so simultaneously dead inside yet so alive at the same time. (Lies. He always feels like this after they have arguments.)

“Then don’t.” The words are out of Kyung’s mouth before he realizes what he’s saying, and his body has already leaned into Jiho’s, his other hand coming to rest on the back of Jiho’s neck while the one on Jiho’s cheek lightly traces Jiho’s eyelashes. He’s mere centimetres away from Jiho’s face right now, almost kissing, but something crosses Jiho’s face, and Jiho’s placing both his hands on Kyung’s chest –

And then he falls.

 

 

Landing on his tailbone wasn’t part of the list of possible outcomes Kyung had expected, but he ends up on his butt anyway, a sharp pain on his rear from having been pushed by Jiho. Jiho’s hugging himself right now, arms crossed protectively over his chest, and Kyung presses a palm to his tailbone to ease the pain.

“Fuck. That hurts.”

“Sorry. But we… we shouldn’t do that right now,” Jiho mumbles, voice soft. He looks so upset that Kyung feels his body instinctively want to get up to wrap his arms protectively around the taller guy, but listening to his body’s learnt behavior was what got him on the ground in the first place, so he doesn’t.

Jiho’s standing a little far off, biting his lower lip, before he says, “If you want, you can have all the stuff we bought together. I can leave this apartment, find another place to stay, though I’ll need some time to do that.”

“It’s okay,” Kyung says, staggering as he stands, hand still pressed to numb the pain, “Jaehyo’s already agreed to let me stay with him for a while. You can keep the stuff we got, and continue staying here. Continue renting it, if you want to. I’ll move out.”

When Jiho doesn’t says anything else, Kyung takes it as a sign to leave, because he already took most of the stuff he needs yesterday, and he’s not in the position to carry more things back right now. Jiho doesn’t comment on how half the apartment is still Kyung’s personal items, books, photos, magazines, snapbacks and clothes everywhere, even though seconds earlier, Kyung had said he’ll move out. Maybe they’ve known each other for so long, so familiar with each other’s habits and quirks despite their disagreements, because Jiho suddenly says, “The passcode’s 1992, in case you need it when you come back to get your stuff.”

Kyung barely nods while he slips his feet into his sneakers (a different pair from the one he had worn on the way here, because _might as well, all his shoes are still here_ ), quietly opening the door and leaving. Only when he’s out of the lift, out of the apartment block, does Kyung let himself sit down, counting his inhales and exhales to calm his heartbeat down.

 

 

The conversation he had had with Jiho is still heavy on his mind, as Kyung trudges up the steps to Jaehyo’s apartment, stomach rumbling. He’s too distracted by the replay of what he had said to Jiho ( _why had he said that Jaehyo’s already agreed to let him stay, when he hadn’t even asked Jaehyo?_ ) to note that there isn’t the usual smell of food in the corridor, or that it’s only 9pm. Kyung raises his fist to knock on the door once he’s in front of it, this one not giving him the same dilemma as the one before had. He’s too distracted, until the door opens, and a girl with a messy pink bob stares at him, and then Kyung suddenly remembers.

_Wednesday. Don’t come home before 11pm._

Behind, Minhyuk’s tan muscled torso is exposed above black boxers, and once he catches Kyung’s eyes, he’s hurriedly grabbing the blanket on the couch to throw over his body. The girl at the door is glancing between Kyung and Minhyuk, probably wondering if she should close the door or _something_ because neither of them is saying anything, and Kyung decides to save her the trouble of deciding by turning back to head down the stairs.

 

 

He ends up just sitting on a bench in the same park Jaehyo led him to a few days ago, waiting for time to pass. From where he’s sitting, Kyung can see who’s entering or exiting the lift lobby to Jaehyo’s apartment, and already he’s bored, counting how many people have gone in (five), how many have left (seven), and whether the pink haired girl is one of them.

Maybe he should find a convenience store instead, get some ramyeon. It’ll be better than just sitting here wasting time away, but after the initial hunger pangs, Kyung’s stomach doesn’t seem to be protesting anymore, so he thinks maybe he can just skip dinner for today. Besides, ramyeon doesn’t sound too appealing when he’s used to Minhyuk’s home-cooked dishes, and it’s amazing how only a few meals have quickly spoiled his tastebuds away from instant food (something there was a lot of in the apartment he used to share with Jiho).

Sometime before 11, Kyung finally sees the pink bob he’s been waiting for since twelve persons ago (twelve who’d left. He stopped counting how many had gone in), and he’s taking in how she’s dressed in much more than he had first seen her in, looking like a regular university student, crazily coloured hair included. She has a name on her clavicle, black and stark against her pale skin, now hidden under her blouse, but it’s no one Kyung knows, so he hadn’t dwelled too much on it. It definitely wasn’t Minhyuk’s name though, that much he recalls.

Kyung’s standing up, checking that it’s actually past 11 now, ready to head back into the flat, when suddenly a guy appears from the lift lobby, catching up to the pink haired girl. While the girl had seemed like she could just be coming out from a friend’s house after a study session (and if Kyung hadn’t seen it for himself, he wouldn’t have thought otherwise), the guy definitely won’t pass for the same, because his face’s flushed, his lips too red and swollen, and his shirt has a few buttons loose, which the girl has stopped to help him button up.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what had happened in Jaehyo’s apartment.

(And Kyung is definitely smarter than average. Also, he wonders if Jaehyo knows.)

 

 

Minhyuk’s holding the door open when Kyung reaches the top of the steps (again), like he has been expecting Kyung to be back on time. He’s dressed this time, just a t-shirt and board shorts, which shows more skin than what Minhyuk has been wearing around the house, but much less than what Kyung had accidentally caught an eyeful of just now. Thinking it’ll be awkward no matter what he says, Kyung opts for staying silent as he enters the living room.

But Minhyuk apparently has different ideas, because he clears his voice to ask, “Did you forget that it’s Wednesday today?”

“So what if I did?” Kyung’s wondering what the big deal is, for Minhyuk to sound like he’s scolding a child, when Kyung’s not that much younger than the guy.

“It’s – Never mind, just don’t do it again.”

Kyung feels like retorting that there might not be an _again_ if he doesn’t stay here for longer, but who is he kidding? He had basically made himself homeless, resigned to couch surfing once he had told Jiho to keep the apartment; that he’ll move out instead. He’s not going to make another stupid mistake again so soon. So Kyung keeps his mouth shut, wanting to lie on the couch and pretend to sleep to escape the conversation, except there’s no blanket.

(Right, hadn’t Minhyuk used it cover his body earlier?)

 _Whatever_. He can sleep without it.

But again, Minhyuk has different ideas, because he’s tapping Kyung, waking him up, and saying, “Don’t go to sleep. We need to talk about this if you’re staying here.”

“Hyung, just, let me sleep. I won’t forget again,” Kyung mumbles, eyes still shut and ignoring the incessant pats Minhyuk’s giving him.

“I had this talk with Jaehyo before, and I need to talk about it with you too, if we’re staying in this house together,” Minhyuk sighs, and Kyung carefully opens an eye to check what’s happening. It’s a mistake, because Minhyuk definitely notices, and he jabs Kyung in the side, pointing out that he’s awake now, so they can talk.

“Fine,” Kyung grunts out, finally giving up, but not without a long and exasperated sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jiho's not as mean as he initially appears eh?
> 
> Also, I'll love to hear your thoughts on the story so far :)


	4. Four

Minhyuk doesn’t get to say anything he was going to before the door suddenly opens, Jaehyo entering like any other day. But the guy quickly senses the tension in the living room, especially with the picture of Kyung half lying on the couch and Minhyuk hovering over him, with his hands still on Kyung’s sides from when he poked him earlier.

“Did I interrupt something?” Jaehyo asks cautiously, and Minhyuk answers “No” too quickly for it to not sound suspicious.

“Right… I’ll just be in my room if you guys need me,” Jaehyo mumbles, quickly exiting to his room.

 _It’s not what you think!_ Kyung wants to shout, but Minhyuk’s face is grim (and too close), and he decides not to. Instead, he lightly pushes against Minhyuk’s shoulder, so that they will have some distance between them for him to sit up comfortably, before they have this talk that Minhyuk had been so insistent on.

“So,” Minhyuk starts when Jaehyo’s gone, “I don’t really care what you think about what I do, but you need to know that Wednesday nights are my private time, and I usually have people over. It’ll be awkward for everyone if you come in at the wrong time, so I’ll appreciate it if you keep to the after 11pm schedule, just as I will make sure that everyone I invite leaves before that.”

Minhyuk says everything like it’s a matter of fact; like he doesn’t care whether Kyung agrees with him or not, that Kyung’s going to have to either take it or leave it. He doesn’t know what to say to someone who talks like that.

(Jiho had always been accommodating.)

But eventually, Kyung lets out a sighs, and says, “You’ve already thought of everything you wanted to say, and there’s nothing left for me to do but agree or leave, is there?”

There’s exasperation slowly creeping onto Minhyuk’s face, who’s giving him a look like he’s talking to a rock instead of a person, “No. You don’t have to agree with what I just said. You can just continue coming in at whatever time you like, even on Wednesdays, but there’s going to be consequences if you do that. Especially since I’ve explained to you –“

“ _Explain?_ Ah yes, the whole ‘I have people over’ thing is such a good explanation –“

“Sex, okay, _sex_. I have sex with people on Wednesdays and I’ll prefer keeping things private even if I’m sharing a flat. Damn it, do you need me to spell things out so clearly?”

Kyung stares at Minhyuk, who has a slight red tint to his complexion right now. Minhyuk has always seemed quite collected during the times Kyung had seen him, and this is the first time he’s seeing the guy so fazed. _Who’ll have thought?_

“So you mean we have to accommodate your schedule on Wednesdays because you want to _fuck_?” Kyung realizes how ugly his words sound, but it’s a bit too late to take them back now.

Minhyuk just gives him a pointed look. “Well, it’s not like I won’t accommodate you guys if you have any requests regarding sharing the flat, so I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you come home later on just one day of the week. Jaehyo used to make me stay out late on weekends. Who even knows what he was up to…”

 _Okay, that was too much information about Jaehyo that Kyung didn’t need to know_. Skipping over that bit of information, something else that had been weighing on his mind during the talk escapes, and Kyung retorts, “You talk like it’s certain that I’ll be staying here for long.”

_(Great, well done, Park Kyung. Bravo. Are you so eager to find out what happens if you get thrown out of Jaehyo’s place too? Where would you even stay –)_

“Jaehyo said you would be staying for a while,” is Minhyuk’s easy reply, and for the first time in a while, Kyung’s speechless (as opposed to just keeping silent). To think he had been worrying about a place to stay the whole day when Jaehyo has already decided to let him stay without telling him. His throat suddenly feels too tight, and a soft sob escapes his lips.

“Kyung, are you… crying? What’s wrong? Why are you suddenly crying?” The face in front of Kyung is one of concern now, much softer than the serious face Minhyuk had on earlier.

“It’s nothing,” Kyung chokes out, utterly unconvincing as more tears spill from his eyes, and he decides to just bury his face in his arms to hide. He hasn’t realized how much he had been holding in since the talk he had with Jiho (or maybe even before that), but now that he’s started crying, the tears won’t stop, and he’ll be embarrassed if he has time to spare from the hitching sobs that keep coming every time he thinks he has no tears left to cry.

When he finally stops, Minhyuk’s still in the living room, sitting on the coffee table looking at him.

“Feeling better now?”

“Not really,” Kyung answers truthfully, and sees a flash of dimples on Minhyuk’s face before it disappears just as quickly.

“Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you all these when you clearly have stuff to deal with on your own, but I like to clear up any problems as soon as I can, before they’re left to fester, so I hope you will understand what I said earlier.” Minhyuk’s voice is low and his words come slowly, but there’s a certainty behind it that sounds something like conviction, and Kyung wonders what kind of a person Minhyuk is when he’s not just Jaehyo’s flat mate who cooks for them.

When Kyung doesn’t respond, Minhyuk continues, “I hope you’ll respect the boundaries of a flat mate, and come back after 11 on Wednesdays. I quite like living here and I’ll hate to have to find a new place if I can avoid it.”

Kyung nods, figuring he can at least acknowledge having heard the guy. Minhyuk stands up, as if ready to leave, but he suddenly faces Kyung and says, “Also, you should learn to speak up about what you think instead of keeping silent. An honest and open communication works wonders no matter who you are talking to.”

There’s a pause before Minhyuk leaves, like he’s waiting for a response and Kyung wonders if he’s being petty by deliberately keeping silent.

 

 

After a short shower during which Kyung realized there’s still tears left in him to cry, he returns to the living room. There’s a new blanket on the couch, neatly folded. Trying not to read too much into the gesture ( _was Minhyuk the one who left it?_ ), Kyung heads for Jaehyo’s room and knocks.

Jaehyo opens his bedroom door on the second knock, hair wet, probably having just showered in the bathroom attached to his room. “What’s up?” he asks, towel-drying his hair.

Kyung’s own hair is dripping water onto his shirt but he hadn’t taken his towel out of the bathroom, so he can’t do anything about it now. “Hyung, Minhyuk hyung said you told him I was staying here for a while. Is that–  are you… really letting me stay here?”

Jaehyo pulls his towel off, looking at Kyung in the eyes when he replies, “Yeah, you can stay here until you find a new place. I didn’t think you’ll be able to stay at your old place now anyway, am I right?”

“Mm…thanks, hyung.” Not sure how else to express his gratitude, Kyung pulls Jaehyo towards him, arms loosely wrapped around Jaehyo's torso, trapping his arms as he gives his friend a hug. Jaehyo pries an arm out from the hold, using it to pat Kyung’s hair as he rests his chin on Kyung’s wet head.

“Don’t worry about it.”

There’s even be what sounds like a sniff from Jaehyo, but the touching moment is quickly lost when Jaehyo remarks, “But you know, if you stay too long, you’re going to have to pay rent too.”

Kyung decides the only reply Jaehyo deserves is a loud snort, but it probably ends up muffled from where his face is pressed against Jaehyo’s loose t-shirt.

 

 

The next morning, Kyung wakes up late, and decides to head to Jiho’s place to pack all his stuff since he’s already missed most of his morning lecture. He fits as much as he can into a large suitcase (a shared item, but Jiho probably won’t miss it), and carries whatever else he cannot fit in two large overnight bags. Most of his things are now cleared from Jiho’s place, except for his shoes which he hadn’t been able to bring with his full luggage (he’ll just have to make another trip for them another day). The whole way back to Jaehyo’s apartment, Kyung’s chest feels oddly lighter for having started moving out from his old place, although he still has lots of questions on his mind.

The skin on his inner arm tingles from where his denim jacket is rubbing against it, and Kyung wonders if he should ever get the tattoo he had impulsively considered that first day he came to Jaehyo’s. As he lugs his things into the living room, trying to not block the passageway around the television, Kyung feels beads of perspiration rolling down his neck, and he shrugs off his jacket once he lines his things neatly by the wall next to the television. He doesn’t remember that he’s wearing a short sleeved t-shirt, until he hears “Is that the name of your ex?”

Kyung turns, and Minhyuk’s standing just outside his bedroom door (Kyung hadn’t even realized someone was in the flat at this hour, having assumed that both Jaehyo and Minhyuk are still in lectures). He doesn’t immediately understand the question, until Minhyuk tilts his head towards Kyung’s exposed inner arm, t-shirt sleeve just a little too short to cover the three Hangeul characters “Woo Jiho”.

“Does it matter?” Kyung asks, wanting to pull at his sleeve, but not wanting to show how affected he is by the question. He still doesn’t know what he thinks on the whole matter of Jiho’s name of his arm, but he’s definitely broken up with Jiho for real now (not like the last six times when one of them had gone back to the other within three days).

“Not really, I guess,” Minhyuk replies, “Though you did say you left someone called Jiho the first night you came over.”

Kyung vaguely remembers doing that, so he just shrugs, not keen on continuing this conversation. But then Minhyuk’s still loitering, and Kyung suddenly remembers the pink-haired girl, who had a name on her collarbone which was clearly not Minhyuk’s.

“The girl you had over yesterday… she had a name imprinted too, on her collarbone, didn’t she?”

If Minhyuk’s surprised, he doesn’t show it, and Kyung observes Minhyuk’s neutral face as he answers evenly, “Yeah, she does.”

Not even sure why he’s curious ( _maybe it’s just morbid curiosity_ ), Kyung decides to ask, “It wasn’t your name on her skin, was it?”

“No, it’s not.”

Kyung can’t glean anything from Minhyuk’s poker face, so he probes further, “So is her name on your skin then?”

“No.”

He’s getting nowhere with the short clipped answers, but Kyung’s not giving up yet. “What about the guy?”

This time, there’s a slight flickering of Minhyuk’s eyes, but his face is quickly composed again. There’s a moment where Minhyuk opens his mouth, then closes it, and Kyung decides to add, “If you’re worried about me judging you for being with a guy, I’ll have you know that Jiho is a guy and not a girl.”

It seems to be the reassurance Minhyuk needs, because he answers after a blink, “No, his name isn’t on my skin. Nor is mine on his.”

 _Hmm_. Kyung considers what he has just learnt, all of which being rather interesting information. Maybe it’s better to be direct ( _wasn’t Minhyuk the one who said something about honest and open conversations?_ ). Kyung mulls over the question he’s about to ask before he finally picks up the courage to voice it, “So, whose name is on your skin?”

There’s a furrow between Minhyuk’s thick eyebrows, and Kyung wonders if he had been too direct. (Maybe the whole open and honest conversation thing had been a lie…) But Minhyuk sticks his hands into his pocket, a hesitation, before he answers, “That’s none of your business, you know.”

The tone isn’t chiding, just light, teasing even, like a friend refusing to tell a secret even though they might be willing to reveal some parts of it, if prompted enough. Kyung decides to back off on the direct approach, and try a different strategy. “Since you’ve already seen whose name is imprinted on my skin, will you at least answer me if you have a name on your body too?”

Minhyuk’s “I do” rolls off his lips too easily, and Kyung’s left to wonder what it all _means_ , as Minhyuk returns to his bedroom, door softly closing behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding the bit where Kyung mentions his Jiho is a guy, it's because Jiho is a unisex name, e.g. [singer Navi](http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Navi), [actress Kim Jiho](http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Kim_Ji_Ho) (just naming some names thought I don't really know much about either of them). So in the story, Minhyuk doesn't know whether Kyung's Jiho is a guy or girl, and his assumption is that Jiho is probably a girl. (Minhyuk doesn't actually see Jiho even when Jiho came over Jaehyo's 'cause Jaehyo was the one who dealt with everything.)
> 
> Anyway, how do you like this chapter? I feel like the more Kyung knows about Minhyuk, the more questions he'll have... lol
> 
> (Also, because I laughed when I saw the comment, _niceupaprika_ asked why Minhyuk is so "serious serious, mysterious mysterious", and it seems very appropriate for this fic so far.)


	5. Five

The days pass by quickly in a rush of school work and assignment deadlines that Kyung has postponed doing (and had subsequently forgotten about until 2 days before they’re due). He’s trying to get _Matlab_ to work, and cursing himself for skipping on the lectures for the software, because even if he’s really good at the math, he can’t use this computer program for shit, and he nearly tears his hair out trying to learn the software in time so he can complete his proof before the deadline. Jaehyo and Minhyuk leave him alone to stew in his work, because this is college, and everyone has their own terrible deadlines to handle without helping each other, although they at least make sure that he eats his three meals and shower once a day.

When he finally submits his assignments, and can sleep properly without having to worry about computer coding messing up his equations for the _n_ -th time, Kyung hurries home to his couch ( _oh beautiful bed_ ), ready to sleep until the end of time ( _okay, maybe that’s a bit too dramatic_ ), but he sees Jaehyo in the living room, watching some random show, and he slumps a little.

“Hyung, can I sleep?” Kyung whines, feet moving by themselves to the couch, where he takes a seat beside Jaehyo.

“Hmm? Yeah, sure, you can use my bed because I’m watching tv right now. But please shower first so you don’t dirty my sheets.”

Feeling half regretful that he can’t just lie on the couch immediately, and half thankful that he’ll get to sleep on a proper bed for once, Kyung hurries to the bathroom for a shower, quickly cleaning himself so he can finally lie down and sleep. But the shower ends up making him feel wide awake, and Kyung’s not sure if he should continue his initial plan of napping until someone wakes him up for dinner, or sit down and chill with Jaehyo for a while, because he hasn’t talked to his friend properly the last few days.

He ends up just sitting beside Jaehyo while he dries his hair, deciding to go with the flow, because his brain’s too tired to think. There’s a slight grunt from Jaehyo when Kyung leans into his shoulder, resting the back of his head against Jaehyo’s chest but his friend doesn’t push him off, so Kyung just lays there, eyelids closing even though he’s no longer really sleepy.

“Kyung, are you asleep?”

“Not really. You’re nice and warm, hyung.”

“Haha, well, not everyone thinks that’s a good thing though. Anyway, you seem tired, why don’t you go and sleep in my room?”

“Mmm,” Kyung mumbles, not sure if he wants to. He’s found a comfortable position half leaning on Jaehyo, and he doesn’t really want to move.

“Fine, stay here if you want,” Jaehyo sighs, but he doesn’t sound annoyed, just amused, so Kyung stays where he is.

There’s a few moments of silence, and Kyung might have drifted off for a few seconds, but a thought suddenly came to his mind, and he’s speaking before he realizes what he’s saying. “Hyung, Minhyuk hyung has a name on his skin right? Do you know whose name it is?”

Jaehyo shifts behind him at the question, and Kyung sits up because he’s lost the comfortable spot he had been laying on, turning to look at Jaehyo face to face instead. Jaehyo’s tilting his head, words coming out slowly when he replies, “Yeah, Minhyuk hyung has a name on his body, but as to whose name it is… it’s not my information to give away, so you’ll have to ask him if you want to know.”

“Oh… I did ask. But he didn’t tell me,” Kyung mutters, before he stands up and announces that he’s going to sleep in Jaehyo’s room. Jaehyo doesn’t comment on the abrupt end in conversation, just waves him a bye and returns his attention to his television program.

 

 

In school the next day, Kyung’s looking at the dark evening sky outside, realizing that he hasn’t gotten back to Jiho’s to take his remaining things because he has been so busy the last week. He had spent most of his afternoon in the library, trying to find information for some presentation he has to do soon, and it’s now past dinner time. With the borrowed reference books in his bag, it’s not like Kyung can carry more things home even if he heads over to Jiho’s apartment now, so he decides to leave the task for another day. He’s about to just head home, until he remembers that it’s a Wednesday.

 _Right_. Don’t go back until after 11.

He can do that this time. So Kyung spends as long as he can in a cheap diner near school, eating leisurely, and then walking around to find some café so he can study while waiting. He forgets the time while poring over complex math theorems that he’s supposed to somehow understand and present to his course mates (honestly, Kyung wonders if lecturers make students do such presentations so they don’t have to teach the topics themselves). It’s only when the girl behind the counter comes up to him, and tell him that the café is closing does Kyung pack his books up to leave.

He checks his phone. It’s 10.29pm. Figuring that he’ll get home closer to after 11 if he walks instead of taking a bus, Kyung sets off at a slow and comfortable pace through the streets. He doesn’t realize he’s picking up speed and walking at his usual one (which is pretty fast, because he’s almost always running late for lessons while going around campus) until he finds himself outside Jaehyo’s apartment block, and sees that it’s only 10.51pm.

 _Guess I’ll just sit here and wait again_ , Kyung thinks, finding the same bench he had sat on just last week, keeping an eye out for either the pink haired girl or the bright-eyed boy he had seen before. There are a few people who pass in and out of the lift lobby, but Kyung pays them no heed because they’re neither of the two he’s looking out for, only checking his phone after a while to check if it’s 11 yet. When he sees 11:08 on his phone screen, Kyung’s surprised.

 _Huh, I didn’t see either the girl or guy come down, did I? Anyway, it’s after 11 so it should be safe to go up now._ Kyung climbs the steps up to Jaehyo’s apartment, and keys in the passcode to unlock the door himself. Jaehyo had texted him the passcode last Wednesday night, after their conversation about Kyung staying, and he’s starting to feel like this is his place now, even if he’s only been here for a week or so. Minhyuk’s in the kitchen, looking like his usual self, and Kyung wonders if anyone had even been in the house earlier; whether Minhyuk had actually invited someone(s) over or if he had just spent his time alone.

Dropping his bag by the couch, Kyung decides to ask, in as casual a tone as he can, “Did you have anyone over today? I didn’t see the girl or guy from last week while I was waiting downstairs. It’ll have been so silly if there’s actually no one but you in the house while I was waiting downstairs for the last 15 minutes or so.”

Minhyuk looks over his shoulder from where he’s slicing fruits, turning back before he replies, “Hmm, you didn’t wait in vain then. I had someone over.”

“Someone huh? A… different someone?”

(It’s just a farfetched guess, but Kyung’s good at those.)

“Yea,” Minhyuk says as he brings his plate of fruits to the living room, pushing the plate in front of Kyung to offer him some. The nonchalant reply has Kyung confused, and he refuses the fruits politely without thinking (it’s too late now to say he wants the apple when Minhyuk’s already eating it). As he stares at the apple disappearing into Minhyuk’s mouth, frowning at the tangerines left on the plate, Kyung’s wondering why he’s so fazed by the fact that it’s a different person Minhyuk had over this time.

 

 

When Jaehyo comes home late the next day with a blissed face, and red marks peeking out from his collar, Kyung figures that maybe he’s just annoyed and frustrated that everyone but him is getting some. Maybe he’s just envious (jealous) that Minhyuk has people (plural) who want him on a weekly basis, and Jaehyo has an enthusiastic enough girlfriend (or one-night stand, though he knows Jaehyo no longer does those) who’s leaving him hickeys.

(He had never felt like this when he was with Jiho.)

Rubbing his arms in frustration as he lies on the couch, Kyung considers that maybe he had gotten too used to having Jiho at his every whim, even if they had argued as often as they fucked (and boy, had the make-up sex been _good_ ). He’s absent-mindedly thumbing Jiho’s name on his arm, heart sinking as he remembers that they’re over now (and that even if there’s good times, it’s not a good idea to run back to Jiho now just because he’s sexually frustrated). Sighing, Kyung pulls the blanket over his face, and tries to will himself to sleep.

 

 

The next day, Kyung decides the best way to take his mind off the action he’s not getting is to find friends to hang out with. He’s scrolling through the contacts on his phone after lessons, realizing just how short the list of people he can call out of the blue is.

(Maybe he had spent way too much time with just Jiho when they were still together.)

In the end, he decides to call Yukwon, a same-aged friend he’s somewhat close to since the first year of high school and who’s in the same college as he is. They’ve not really talked for a while now, but Kyung figures old friendships still count, and the last time he had met Yukwon in the college cafeteria, they had managed to talk for two hours until Yukwon had to run for lessons. Kyung presses the call button, waiting nervously for the guy to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Yukwon, it’s me, Park Kyung. I was wondering, it’s been a while since we’ve hung out, do you want to meet up and catch up some time?”

“Oh, hey, Kyung! Sure, I don’t mind hanging out. When?”

“Later today, maybe?”

“Oh, I’m not free, I promised my girlfriend to take her out later. Another day, perhaps?”

Kyung sinks where he’s sitting, although he arranges to meet Yukwon sometime next week. It’s not too bad, he supposes, to catch up with his friend then, but he also kind of needs a distraction _right now_.

(It’ll be too pathetic to call Jiho, right?)

In the end, Kyung just packs his things, and heads home.

 

 

No one’s at home when he reaches, but there’s a note on the fridge from Minhyuk asking them to settle their own dinner because he’s staying in school late for some project. Kyung picks up the note to read, then sticks it back on the fridge, deciding that he might as well go to a diner because he doesn’t know when Jaehyo would be back ( _if_ he even comes back before dinner, with that eager girlfriend he probably has that he’s not told Kyung about yet).

At the diner, there are way too many college couples reminding Kyung of his loneliness, so he sits in the corner, turning his back to the crowd. He orders some stew and rice, and decides to add a bottle of soju after a thought. The soju brings him some solace, at least, while the food fills his stomach, and Kyung’s on his third bottle when he notices that maybe he’s a bit drunk now, because he’s seeing five bottles on the table when he’s sure he hadn’t ordered so many. Touching the bottles to count them doesn’t help, and Kyung gives up trying to figure out how much he’d drunk, only barely raising his hand to get the shop owner to come over so he can pay for his food. The nice shop owner takes his 50 000 won note and returns with change quickly, although she looks at him for a while, somewhat concerned.

( _Why’s she concerned? I paid for my food, didn’t I? Or did I forget? Nope, there’s change on the table… unless this is actually what I took out to pay?)_

“Sir, you look kind of drunk. Maybe you should call your friend to pick you up.”

Kyung looks up at the shop owner, regretting moving his head too fast, because now it hurts. “Uh,” he mumbles, wondering how to speak. He has to blink a few times before his brain processes what she had said, and Kyung manages to take his phone out without dropping it. He scrolls through his contacts, staring at the short list for a long time, wondering who he can even call to bring him back in this drunken state.

(Jiho’s still at the top of his favourites in his contact list.)

He doesn’t notice, but his fingers find their way on his screen, and he must have called someone (or maybe the shop lady helped), because the next thing he knows, he’s being nudged awake.

 

 

Minhyuk’s looking at him with concern, and Kyung’s confused why the guy is here, because _isn’t he supposed to be in school doing some project, and oh_ , now his arm is being dragged over Minhyuk’s shoulder. Kyung realizes how wobbly his legs are, only barely managing to get out of the diner because Minhyuk’s carrying most of his weight, an arm around his waist to keep his steady (it’s really nice and warm). Minhyuk doesn’t say anything, which Kyung is glad, because any sound right now seems much too loud, and he had almost tripped when a bird flew past, the sound of wings shocking him.

They manage to make their way to the apartment, only stumbling once or twice and Minhyuk pressing the buttons for the lift which Kyung hardly ever takes because Jaehyo’s place is only on the second floor. He doesn’t realize how small the  lift is, until he finds Minhyuk’s back too close to his face, and Kyung hopes he doesn’t puke on the guy, because that would be so ungrateful.

Somehow, he manages to stay upright and not chuck his stomach’s contents onto Minhyuk’s baseball jacket while Minhyuk’s hand find its way around Kyung’s waist to pull him out of the lift and to the door. Kyung leans heavily on his shoulder as Minhyuk keys in the passcode to open the door, not trusting his feet and balance at this moment. He’s observing the guy’s face from this strange angle where his cheek is pressed against Minhyuk’s shoulder, admiring  how Minhyuk’s brows are thick and a nice shape, how his tan skin is so smooth, and how he doesn’t really have a particularly striking face (like Jaehyo), but looks really handsome nonetheless.

When Minhyuk turns slightly to try to move him into the house, Kyung grabs the front of Minhyuk’s baseball jacket, leaning in before he realizes what he’s doing. The kiss is brief, nothing more than just a press of lips, but Kyung’s heart suddenly speeds up all the same, and he stumbles a bit, because Minhyuk’s suddenly not holding on to his waist tightly like he had before. There’s a slightly confused expression on Minhyuk’s face as Kyung looks up at him from where he’s sitting on the floor, just past the door threshold where he must have fallen after Minhyuk had let go of him. For a moment, there’s only silence, before Kyung’s mouth opens without thinking.

“Indulge me while I’m drunk and without my usual inhibitions.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, this chapter was fun to write. Anyway, I'm going to move this fic up to a Teens and Up rating, not because there's anything particular rated happening (or had happened), but just... because there's already some curse words and too many people okay with casual sex and well, maybe this isn't so suitable for a General audience that might include kids anymore. (I don't think kids are on ao3, but who knows?) Lol. I'm new to the whole rating system, so ignore me.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like this chapter! Also Kyung is a sad, sad, sad little boy in this chapter, so flawed too, but I love him anyway. I'll love to hear your thoughts on the fic! :)


	6. Six

“Don’t be stupid,” Minhyuk states, and Kyung thinks that’s the end of _that_.

But then, Minhyuk looks straight into his eyes, a sardonic smile smile on his lips when he continues, “You’re drunk. Talk to me again when you’re sober.”

 _Oh_. Kyung’s not sure what to make of it, but it doesn’t matter because his eyelids are closing involuntarily, too heavy to be kept open and he drifts off with the feeling of being carried somewhere.

 

 

Kyung wakes up the next morning with a sour taste in his mouth and a pounding headache, but he’s on the couch, and it doesn’t look like he has puked anywhere so that’s a relief. He’s still wearing the same clothes he had on last night, and as he slowly sits up, the hazy memories of last night start coming back to him.

He had kissed Minhyuk. And then tried asking for _more_ , but Minhyuk had... _what was Minhyuk’s response?_ Kyung closes his eyes, trying to remember, but all he gets is a hazy image of Minhyuk standing by the door, and all the thinking is making his head hurt more, so he gives up. He has just washed his face and brushed the taste of death out of his mouth when Minhyuk appears in the living room, looking remarkably rested. Such a contrast to what Kyung currently feels like (no wonder he hardly ever drinks alcohol. This hangover is not fun). Kyung’s wondering how he should ask the guy what had happened last night, but Minhyuk saves him the trouble by speaking first.

“How do you feel? You were quite drunk last night.”

“I have a terrible headache, and I need water. What happened last night when I was drunk?”

“You don’t remember anything?” Minhyuk asks, settling down on the couch. Kyung remains standing, until he remembers he wanted to get water. He’s pouring himself a glass of water from the fridge, when Minhyuk asks again, “So, do you remember what you did last night?”

“Not really,” Kyung answers, wondering if he should reveal that he definitely remembers how he had impulsively kissed his flat mate because he thought Minhyuk looked _really good_ in the moment (not that he doesn’t still).

“Hmm, too bad then,” Minhyuk chuckles, before he gets up. “And here I thought you might actually be serious.”

 _What does that mean?_ Kyung abruptly turns to Minhyuk at those words, cursing the movement because now his head is spinning, and he manages to say, “Wha-what did I say? Or what did I do?”

Minhyuk crosses his arms, observing Kyung like he’s looking at a prey, and Kyung feels his heart speed up just a little. (This feels dangerous.)

“Should I just tell you, since you clearly don’t remember?”

Kyung has to repeat the sentence in his head a few times before he understands what Minhyuk says, and a “yes” tumbles off his lips before he realized he had spoken.

 

 

Minhyuk tells him about the sudden kiss, chuckling a bit when he recalls how drunk Kyung at been, and Kyung huffs a little (he’s never going to drink again, ever). Speaking like the recount of the kiss doesn’t even affect him, Minhyuk continues, “Then you said something like ‘Indulge me while I’m drunk and without inhibitions’, and I told you not to be stupid; that you should talk to me again when you’re sober.”

Kyung feels his cheeks heat up, and he knows he must be blushing right now, because the memories are suddenly coming back to him.

(That had been a really stupid thing to do, propositioning Minhyuk, who’s a flat mate, even if he’s handsome. Not to mention, what about _Jiho_? Or rather, _the fact that I have_ _his name on my arm…_ )

At some point he must have spaced out, because when Kyung lifts his face up again, Minhyuk’s looking at him expectantly, and Kyung doesn’t know what he had said. “I didn’t catch what you said, sorry. Can you repeat?”

“I just asked if you wanted to talk about it – what happened last night, and if you’re serious about wanting to get physical with me and all,” Minhyuk says, gesturing to nothing.

Rolling his eyes at the guy’s choice of words, Kyung mumbles, “For someone who has so many sexual partners, you sure are a prude about saying the word sex aloud, aren’t you?” He thinks Minhyuk hears it, despite his low voice and slurred syllabus, because his eyes widen a bit, before his dimples appear, and Kyung wonders why he’s saying things that are only digging a deeper grave for himself.

(Maybe he’s always been just _a bit_ self-destructive.)

“Yeah, yeah, I don’t like to say the word sex out loud, but I am asking you if that was what you meant last night, and if you are still interested now that you’re sober. But just to let you know, it’s only going to be a one-time thing, like how I never have the same person over twice on Wednesdays.”

That’s news to Kyung, though maybe it shouldn’t be that surprising since he had sort of suspected since he found out that it was a different person Minhyuk had over on the Wednesday that’d just passed (and who is neither the pink haired girl nor the bright-eyed boy the Wednesday before).

He vaguely wonders if the act would make living in the same house as Minhyuk weird, and briefly considers what would happen when Jaehyo finds out (because Kyung would most likely eventually tell him; he’s kind of like, Kyung’s best friend, now that he’s not with Jiho), but in the end, maybe he really is more self-destructive than he recognizes, because even with all the things that could go wrong, Kyung answers, “Yeah, I want to have sex with you.”

 

 

They don’t actually start stripping each other right then and there, like Kyung had been half expecting ( _so he’s a bit more sexually frustrated than he’s willing to admit. So sue him_ ). Instead, Minhyuk explains that he has a schedule (Kyung scoffed, and had gotten an evil eye from Minhyuk), and Kyung would have to wait until Wednesday.

It’s only Saturday, so there’s four more days – four days during which Kyung considers whether he should retract his words, and not do something potentially stupid; four days during which he attempts to ask Jaehyo for his opinion, only to chicken out each time; four days during which Kyung spends wondering if he’ll finally see whose name Minhyuk has on his body, when they’re both naked and sweaty.

In the end, it turns out he worried for nothing because on Wednesday evening when Minhyuk comes back from classes, Kyung forgets any of his earlier reservations the moment Minhyuk grabs his neck for a deep kiss. They move to Minhyuk’s bedroom, where the lights in the bedroom are kept dimmed, with only having the streetlights from the window illuminating the room. Kyung can barely see the planes of Minhyuk’s bare chest, but it’s enough to know what he’s doing, and Kyung loses himself to just _feeling_ in the moment. The dim lights also mean that Kyung can’t really find, let alone read words imprinted on Minhyuk’s skin (not that he has time to search anyway. Minhyuk’s _good_ , and he keeps Kyung _busy_ ).

He’s thoroughly spent and sated, lying in the mussed sheets, legs tangled up with Minhyuk’s thicker ones, when Kyung remembers his curiosity about the name on Minhyuk’s body, and he tries to remember if he had seen or felt any slightly raised imprint on the other’s smooth skin. Idly drawing round circles on Minhyuk’s inner arm (which Kyung just realized is where Woo Jiho is printed on his arm), Kyung comes up with nothing, and decides to ignore it in favour of giving Minhyuk another kiss (a thorough one, unlike the first peck they shared, though much tamer than the one Minhyuk gave him earlier).

 

 

The question of the name on Minhyuk’s skin is still on Kyung’s mind days after, and he’s mussing where the name could have been, and how he could have he had missed it in all the time he had been so close to Minhyuk’s bare body. He doesn’t notice Jaehyo standing outside his bedroom, or that he had spoken his earlier thought aloud, until Jaehyo mutters, “It’s on his lower back.”

“What– Why do you even know?”

“That’s not important,” Jaehyo answers, rolling his eyes. “The important question is, why are you so obsessed with whose name Minhyuk has on his body? I thought you were over the whole names being soulmates thing.”

Kyung looks at Jaehyo, whose brows are knitted with worry, and he sighs. “Hyung, old habits die hard. Besides, I’m just curious, it’s not like it’ll matter because it’s probably not anyone I know, right?”

Jaehyo returns his look, and several moments pass before he finally says, “Don’t think about it anymore. Don’t let the name on people’s body bother you. Don’t you think it’ll become a self-fulfilling prophecy the more you focus on it?”

At Jaehyo’s words, Kyung finds himself thinking about his relationship with Jiho. Had that been a self-fulfilling prophecy from the start?

(Did they only get together because they had each other’s names on their bodies? Is that why they couldn’t stay together no matter how hard they tried?)

“Make your own life,” Jaehyo advises, eyes sincere, and Kyung wonders how he can even start doing that.

 

 

Kyung ends up meeting Jaehyo’s new girlfriend for the first time when she comes over one evening, to pick him up for a date (isn’t it nice, having a girlfriend who’s working and has a car? Except that you know, Kyung’s gay, so he won’t ever have a _girl_ friend, but still). Jaehyo’s dressed in a nicely ironed shirt, with his hair styled in those wet looks that makes him look much hotter than his usual college boy bowl-cut. His girlfriend clearly shares the same thoughts as Kyung on Jaehyo’s appearance for the evening, because she goes in for a particularly handsy kiss. They end up doing something _more_ , and Minhyuk has to clear his throat before the pair remember that they are still in Jaehyo’s flat, and that they have an audience. Kyung’s kind of envious of their honeymoon phase, but he puts on a smile and waves them goodbye when they leave.

He turns back, ready to return to his books, but Minhyuk slides up behind him on the couch, his voice a low whisper when he says, “The two of them sure are touchy. I wonder how long it’ll last.”

Not sure what Minhyuk means, Kyung flips through his reference books, before he answers, “How long _what_ will last? Their relationship? Their touchiness?” He sounds a bit miffed, but he doesn’t like how Minhyuk might be implying that Jaehyo’s relationship won’t last, especially when his good friend (best friend) had looked so utterly blissful earlier.

“Chill, I meant the touchiness, not the relationship. I hope the best for Jaehyo too, you know,” Minhyuk replies, two hands coming to rest on Kyung’s shoulders. He’s not sure what the gesture means, so Kyung continues looking through his books, ignoring the guy while his brain chants _he-said-it’s-a-time-thing-he-said-it’s-a-one-time-thing_ over and over in his head.

But that chanting stops suddenly, when Minhyuk rests his face against Kyung’s shoulder, the part where his collarbone meets his neck, and nuzzles in deeper. Kyung blinks. Once. Twice. His mouth feels too dry, and he has to swallow a few times before he can ask, “What are you doing?”

Minhyuk doesn’t answer in words, just slips his hands under Kyung’s shirt, fingers lightly moving on his bare skin. Reveling in the sensation for just a moment, Kyung mutters, “Didn’t you say it’ll be only a one-time thing?” A last attempt at dissuading Minhyuk although that’s the furthest thing from his mind right now.

Minhyuk blows a puff of warm air at his ear, voice deep and husky when he answers, “So, maybe this would be an exception, unless you don’t want it.”

 

 

They manage to get to Minhyuk’s bedroom between all the kisses and touches, and Kyung’s glad that it’s still a bit bright outside, even though it’s already evening time. Maybe this time he’ll be able to look at Minhyuk properly.

(And maybe also see the name on his lower back.)

 

 

Minhyuk had mentioned the first time they fucked that he’s up for anything, as long as it’s discussed beforehand and he agrees to it. It’s with that knowledge that Kyung asks if he can top this time, and a grinning Minhyuk had answered “Why not?”

Minhyuk had been lying on his back while Kyung goes through the preparations, but he kind of wants to see the guy’s back too ( _so, his motives are a bit questionable. So sue him_ ). Kyung flips Minhyuk over, the other laughing at his sudden display of strength, but willingly going into position anyway. Minhyuk’s back is muscled, lean and taut, but there’s an out-of-place plaster stuck a bit above his tail bone, between the twin dimples above his toned butt. Kyung’s curious now, because other than the plaster, the rest of Minhyuk’s skin is on full display, and there’s not a name in sight. Swatting at Minhyuk’s eager hands, Kyung gets himself into position to fuck, but half his mind is still on the plaster even as they both reach their climax.

 

 

He could just reach over and tear the plaster off, Kyung thinks, but he remembers how Minhyuk hadn’t wanted to reveal the name to him when asked before, so he hesitates. He’s cuddled against Minhyuk right now, and the guy’s eyes are closed. He’s probably asleep at the moment, and Kyung vaguely wonders if he _should_. After a while, Kyung untangles himself from Minhyuk’s sleeping form, and walks over to the other side of the bed, staring at the little rectangular patch of plastic. Just one quick moment, and he can see the name on Minhyuk’s back. Kyung’s not even sure why he wants to know so badly, but his fingers approach the plaster involuntarily, and before he knows it, the plaster is off, the suddenness of it jostling Minhyuk awake with the sound and sensation, and Kyung barely catches the words imprinted on Minhyuk’s skin before the guy suddenly rolls over and stares at him.

“What are you doing?”

Minhyuk’s voice is rough with sleep, but the hint of anger is clear, even if Kyung’s more preoccupied by the name he had seen on Minhyuk’s back. He’s too stunned to give a reply, because he’s quite sure that he had seen two characters, and two characters only.

Park Kyung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnnn~ *dramatic music*


	7. Seven

“What are you doing?” Minhyuk asks again, sitting up properly this time, tugging the covers around his waist.

“You… my name… your back” Kyung seems to be unable to string together a proper sentence right now, but he thinks Minhyuk understands what he’s referring to anyway, because his hands instinctively reaches behind to touch his lower back.

“…You saw?” Minhyuk’s voice sounds somewhere between angry and perplexed, or maybe he’s just mostly confused. Kyung’s not too certain what he himself is feeling right now either.

“Is that why you didn’t want to tell me who’s on your skin? Because it’s _my_ name?”

There’s a long sigh from Minhyuk, who sinks like a string puppet with its strings cut loose, and Kyung stands up, grabbing his clothes and leaving the room, because he doesn’t know what else to do.

 

 

_It hurts_ , he thinks, trying to wipe away his never ending stream of tears as he storms out of Jaehyo’s place. Kyung’s not sure where he’s going, having only just worn his clothes back so he won’t be running around the streets indecently, until he finds himself in a familiar district, the bustle of the cafes still open at this hour a sound he had been used to hearing back when he had stayed here.

Jiho opens the door after the second knock, Kyung having decided that it’s only polite to knock instead of just keying in the passcode since he’s not here to pick up his things.

“Kyung? What’s wrong? Why are you here? Why are you crying?”

At Jiho’s flood of questions, Kyung’s vision blurs again. He ends up hiccupping and sobbing the whole time Jiho leads him into the living room, too choked with tears and unclear emotions to say anything.

 

 

Jiho had brought him some water and tissues, but he sits a little far off, and Kyung feels the distance between them now, in more than just the physical sense. It’s not surprising, he supposes, what’s with them having been actually properly broken up for a while now (a short while, but long enough). What is surprising, however, is how unaffected he is by the realization that they’re now a bit more distant. Kyung sips a bit of the water when he’s finally calmed down, Jiho just patiently waiting for him to talk.

“I… I wasn’t thinking when I came here, I just kind of… walked and found myself here,” Kyung says, wondering if Jiho will understand what he means.

(He hadn’t intended to come find Jiho in a moment of weakness, but here he is anyway.)

“What happened before you started walking around?” Jiho calmly asks. Rather than answer immediately, Kyung stalls, observing the face he used to be so familiar with, still the same features but with a slightly different expression, now without the dark eye circles that had always plagued Jiho’s handsome face.

(He looks different. He looks better.)

“…I stormed out of Jaehyo’s place. There’s a guy, Jaehyo’s flat mate. He… he has my name on his body. I just found out today.”

Jiho raises an eyebrow at the revelation, curious, “So… there’s another person who has ‘Park Kyung’ on their body, like m– But why do you have to storm out of Jaehyo’s place ‘cause of it?”

(Was Jiho going to say “like me” before he cut it off? Why? …Maybe _, just maybe…_ Jiho doesn’t have Kyung’s name on his chest anymore?)

Kyung pauses to consider his thoughts and feelings about the question Jiho had asked, before he answers, “I don’t know, actually. I don’t know why I just stormed out of the house after I realized he had my name on his body, but… He had been hiding it from me, even though I had explicitly asked him whose name he has on his skin before. So I guess when I realized that he’s been deliberately going out of his way to hide the information from me, I felt… I felt…”

“Hurt?” Jiho supplies, and Kyung nods.

(Who _is_ this person in front of him, talking to him calmly and rationally? And where has his old Jiho gone?)

A few moments of silence passes, before Jiho speaks again, voice cautious, “Have you, you know, asked him why he did it? Why he had hidden the information from you?”

(The thought hasn’t occurred to him.)

Hearing Jiho’s question, Kyung vaguely recalls him just _accusing_ Minhyuk of not telling him that Kyung’s name is imprinted on his lower back (or maybe insinuating, rather than outright accusing). He hadn’t really _asked_ the other guy why he hadn’t revealed the information to Kyung.

(Shit, this Jiho is too logical. Is this really the Woo Jiho he knew?)

“No, no I didn’t,” Kyung mutters, and rubs a hand down his face, feeling suddenly bone-tired.

 

 

Jiho lets him sleep on the couch (because they’d never bothered getting an extra bed or even an extra mattress back when they had lived together). Kyung’s overcome with the strange feeling that this is some repeating cycle that he’s not fully aware of but had become caught in anyway: getting upset, running out the house, and landing on some person’s couch for the night.

_Maybe he’s just an insect trapped in a spider’s web, and hasn’t realized it yet_ , he thinks, wondering for the first time whether the tangle of relationships dictated by the names on people’s skin is really just part of some bigger ploy that he’s not aware of. _Maybe it’s the wicked hands of fate_ , Kyung smiles bitterly, drifting off to uneasy rest.

(Or maybe there’s nothing such as fate, only human actions and self-fulfilling prophecies.)

 

 

He wakes up to find three missed calls, and a single text message. Half dreading and half wondering whether Minhyuk might have been the one who had called and sent the text, Kyung hesitates opening it. But when he eventually clicks on the flashing icons, they all read _Jaehyo_. “What happened?” is the short message on his phone, and Kyung’s tempted to just call his friend, just spill everything, until he realizes that it’s only 5.43am. Outside, the sky is still dark.

_It’s also a Wednesday_ , Kyung notes sardonically. There’s an ugly feeling crawling within his belly, and he ignores it in favour of going to the bathroom to splash some water on his face so he can consider whether he’s going to class, and if he’ll need to get his laptop and notebooks for it.

 

 

Kyung ends up going to lecture. It’s for some software programming and he’s already learnt his lesson the hard way from skipping _Matlab_ the last time. Jaehyo had been nice enough to pack his notebook and laptop to pass to him on campus, and Kyung promises to find him for lunch so they can talk. He doesn’t mention what had happened last night, and Jaehyo doesn’t ask. It’s mostly because he needs to hurry to his own lesson after passing Kyung his bag, but Jaehyo gives him a _look_. There’s an unspoken agreement that his friend isn’t going to let him get away with not telling, and Kyung accepts it (resigns himself to it) along with the backpack Jaehyo’s handing him.

When he sees Jaehyo seated in the cafeteria during lunch, Kyung sets his bag down, and they queue to buy their food in silence. Jaehyo only gives him a head tilt like he can start talking _any time now_ when they’ve return to their table. But Kyung’s wondering where to start (and how much Jaehyo might have already heard from Minhyuk) so Jaehyo ends up speaking first.

“I went back home yesterday to find Minhyuk drinking and you gone. He wouldn’t tell me what happened other than that you ran out of the house, and I barely managed to get him to sleep after he got much too drunk,” There’s a pause as Jaehyo catches his eye, “Will you tell me what happened while I was gone for this to happen? And where did you even stay last night?”

“Jiho’s place,” Kyung answers, figuring he can start with the easiest question. Jaehyo gives him an odd look at the reply, but doesn’t interrupt, so Kyung continues, “And uh. I found out. That Minhyuk has my name on his back. _My_ name. Why he didn’t tell me the whole time before that, from when I started staying at your place, I don’t know, so I stormed out. That’s about it.”

_That’s not all there is_ , Kyung thinks, having deliberately skipped over how he had ended up sleeping with Minhyuk a second time (he’d told Jaehyo about the first time, and Jaehyo hadn’t commented much, besides confirming that Minhyuk’s true to his word of never having someone over more than once, and advising Kyung to not harbor any hopes for more), but he doesn’t think it’s something Jaehyo needs to know about, at least, not yet.

Jaehyo mulls over Kyung’s words, and he drinks a bit of his soup before he says, “You should ask him yourself, why he didn’t want to tell you. I know the reason, but I shouldn’t be the one to say it, so… Find him and ask him about it. Talk. He didn’t do it with bad intentions you know, hiding that he has your name on his skin.”

“Jiho said something similar too, that I should go ask Minhyuk why he had hidden the fact from me,” Kyung sighs, jabbing his stiff rice stuck together in the metal bowl, already cold, as was typical for cafeteria food. “Why are you guys asking me to go talk to him? Why should I be the one to initiate conversation when, I don’t know, isn’t he the one who did something wrong by hiding the fact from me?”

Jaehyo looks at him with a weary face, “No one did anything wrong actually. He’s not required to tell you about your name being on his skin just because it’s your name, nor are you wrong for getting angry at him for hiding it from you. Anyway, since no one did anything wrong, you can be the bigger person and go talk to him first, because he refuses to talk to you, thinking you’re still mad pissed at him. I don’t usually agree with what Jiho says, but this time, he’s right, because it’s only logical, for you to go find Minhyuk and sort it out with him. _Unless of course_ , you intend to stay pissed at him, and continue sleeping over at Jiho’s.”

Jaehyo’s last line sounds like a thinly-disguised threat (or maybe just a grim reminder). Kyung knows he can’t keep staying at Jiho’s, so he has to sort things out with Minhyuk _soon_. Giving up on his rice, deciding to just eat some potato and rice cake from the soup, Kyung sighs, because he can’t deny the logic behind Jaehyo’s words.

(Also, he thought Jaehyo doesn’t like Jiho much. That they’d agree on something means it must be something he _really_ needs to do, to talk to Minhyuk.)

Stuffing his mouth with the soup, Kyung huffs, managing to say, “Fine, I’ll go talk to him”, before Jaehyo pats him like he’s a good child for listening to his advice, and he rolls his eyes.

 

 

Jaehyo had told him that Minhyuk skipped classes today, so he’s probably in the apartment. Kyung stares at the door to Jaehyo’s flat for too long before he finally keys in the code to let himself in. Minhyuk isn’t immediately in sight ( _thank goodness_ ), so Kyung puts down his books and sits on the couch for a while first. When’s he’s calm enough, or maybe just numb enough, to steel himself to stand up, walk over and go knock on Minhyuk’s door, Kyung raps his knuckles on the wooden door, waiting for it to open with a bated breath.

From the surprised look on Minhyuk’s face, Kyung’s probably the last person he expects to see right now. Minhyuk’s unshaven, looking just a bit more rugged handsomely, but Kyung has a mission ( _talk to Minhyuk, talk to Minhyuk_ ) and he can’t get distracted. So, lowering his eyes from Minhyuk’s face, Kyung opens his mouth to speak.

“Why… didn’t you tell me that you have my name on your body?”

(There, that’s what Jiho and Jaehyo told him to ask.)

Minhyuk doesn’t move (at least, his body doesn’t. Kyung can’t see his face right now), but answers after a moment, “I’ve seen too many people bend themselves over backwards and stay in terrible relationships because they believe something about the names on their bodies, whether that it’s an indication that they’re soulmates, that they’re meant to be, or whatnot. So I decided that I would never be like that. I won’t let the name on my body affect the decisions I make, I won’t let it dictate my life.”

Minhyuk pauses to swallow, and Kyung’s eyes follow the bob of his Adam’s apple. Then, Minhyuk continues, “I didn’t want the name to be special or anything. Just… if I like someone, I’ll go after them, if not, I won’t. But… you’re not like that. You believe something about the names on people’s bodies. That’s why, once I realized, I didn’t want to tell you that I have your name on my body.”

There’s something implied between the lines of Minhyuk’s words that Kyung’s vaguely aware of, but doesn’t quite catch in the conscious part of his brain, so instead, he asks, “When you got close to me, helping me and all, even having sex with me, what… what was that all about?”

“That’s all there is. I helped you out when you stayed here because you’d seemed down, and you should know by now that sex isn’t a big deal for me, just something casual built off physical attraction.”

Minhyuk’s answer sounds nonchalant, or maybe he’s just stating things matter-of-factly, while Kyung’s the one feeling stupidly upset about the blaseness of it all. There’s a lump in his throat, and he feels his eyes getting a bit wet, like he’s going to cry because...

(Maybe, _maybe he’s been secretly, unknowingly falling for Minhyuk_.)

Perhaps it shows on his face despite the deep breaths he’s taking to halt the tears, or maybe Minhyuk’s just perceptive, and Kyung’s just terrible at hiding his body language, because suddenly Minhyuk asks, voice deep with concern, “What are you thinking now?”

“That maybe I’ve been stupidly falling in love with you because my heart hurts so much right now,” Kyung whispers, each word much softer than the previous until his voice is barely audible.

The silence that follows sounds too loud to Kyung’s ears, and he’s almost going to just run and hide from what he had recklessly confessed, when Minhyuk says, “Are you only thinking that because you found out that your name is on my body?”

His first reaction is to push Minhyuk, _hard_ , until the other stumbles, because _how dare he?_

( _How dare he imply that Kyung’s feelings are not genuine?_ )

But the thought that follows after stops him in his steps, because…

What if Minhyuk is right?

( _Does he really only think he likes Minhyuk because he has Park Kyung imprinted on his body?_ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many things happening...  
> Jiho's maturing post-breakup. (Will Kyung get there?)  
> Jaehyo (plus now Jiho) are the only logical ones here. (Hint hint.)
> 
> I realize I can't say too much about this chapter without potentially accidentally revealing spoilers so I'll just stop here now. Lol. Hope you like how this fic is going, and let me know what you think!
> 
> P.S.: I started a [hyotaepyo fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7493121/chapters/17030268).


	8. Eight

Kyung ends up crashing at Yukwon’s dorm for a few nights. It turns out to be a bad idea because Yukwon lives on campus and his small hostel room only has one bed, but it’s not like Kyung has much choice. Jaehyo has called a few times after the day Kyung last talked to Minhyuk, probably to ask what had happened during the talk he had had with Minhyuk, because Kyung hasn’t went back to Jaehyo’s place since. He rejects all of the calls because he doesn’t know what to say.

( _Oh yeah, nothing much happened. Just,_ _I realized I might be falling for Minhyuk, but am I really? Or is it only because I saw that he has my name on his body?)_

Kyung runs a hand through his dirty hair. He’s missed classes for the last few days, unsure if Jaehyo would find him in school and insist on talking, so he had chosen the easiest way out, even if it’s probably cowardly. But Yukwon has been getting more suspicious of his lie about being sick, and Kyung needs to find somewhere else to stay. Thumb hovering over his phone, Kyung runs through his very limited list of options again, before he grits his teeth to make a call.

 

 

The first thing he notices are the shoes that he still hasn’t packed sitting on the shelves, making him feel like he’s never left at all. But a few steps into the living room, now distinctly cleared of any of Kyung’s things, and filled only with Jiho’s, reminds Kyung of the reality. Jiho’s slipping his bare feet into indoor slippers, muttering that Kyung can take the spare room because he found some blankets that might work as a mattress for a while.

“Thanks Jiho,” Kyung says, because it’s only polite to, after Jiho agreed to let him stay for as long as he needs.

(Jiho’s changed. But some things are still the same.)

Oddly enough, there’s no lingering sense of dread or apprehensiveness in his interaction with Jiho, and Kyung wonders if it means he’s already moved on in some way. Probably. Jiho doesn’t seem to be affected by his presence either, just going around the house doing what he probably does normally. Kyung decides to head for the spare bedroom, diving straight under the covers so he can maybe sleep himself to oblivion again.

 

 

Unlike Yukwon, Jiho leaves him alone to stew, only occasionally leaving him snacks when he skips dinner. He’s thinking it had been a good idea to stay with Jiho even if the guy can only cook ramyeon, because Jiho gives him his space.

( _Actually, didn’t Jiho always give him a lot of space, even back when they were together? It used to be something that annoyed him, but now Kyung just finds it a lucky quality to have in a friend, especially when he doesn’t want to talk. At all._ )

He’s tucking into the ramyeon that Jiho had ordered him to cook _(“You’re getting too thin, Kyungie. Cook some ramyeon, and leave some for me too.”_ ), when Jiho puts down his chopsticks.

“What’s wrong? If you don’t like the way I cooked the ramyeon, you can cook a new packet for yourself,” Kyung mumbles as he slurps down the overly bloated noodles.

Jiho just gives him a pointed look, one which would scare most people, but Kyung’s too used to Jiho’s intimidating glare to be affected, so he continues eating, taking a sip of the spicy MSG-filled soup.

“You suck at cooking, you know, if you can even mess up _ramyeon_ , but that’s not what I wanted to say,” Jiho states drily before he continues, “You’ve been hiding in the flat for a few days now. Whatever it is that got you this worked up, you need to do something about it. Hiding from the world isn’t going to solve anything.”

He doesn’t expect Jiho to be giving him a talk (a _talk_ , of all things, and from _Jiho_ , of all people), so Kyung accidentally chokes on the spicy soup, coughing. It doesn’t stop for a while, and eventually Jiho gets up to pour him a glass of water before Kyung recovers enough to glare at the guy. “You don’t even know anything about what happened, so don’t talk like it’s so easy.”

Jiho just stares at him with a grim face, mouth pursed like he has something he wants to say but doesn’t know if he should, before he opens it, and sighs. “Stop being a fucking drama queen, Kyung. I may not know what’s going on, but I know that if you at least try, you’ll be able to do something about whatever’s bothering you. It’ll beat just sitting around and moping because nothing’s going to change unless you actually go and do something about it.”

Taken aback by Jiho’s words, Kyung accidentally snorts a bit of the soup up his nose, and he ends up coughing again. His face is most likely red from the exertion of rapid coughs, and there are probably tears and mucus on his face right now, but Kyung just looks dead into the eyes of Woo fucking Jiho, before he spits out, “Fuck you, Jiho. Don’t try to tell me what to do.”

Instead of retorting like he always had in all their previous arguments, Jiho just sighs loudly, before he stands up to say, “Suit yourself. But don’t say I didn’t try to help you.”

There’s nothing but footsteps when Jiho walks away, and Kyung thinks Jiho mutters something under his breath that sounded like, “You need to grow up already, Kyungie.”

 

 

He eventually goes back to school after sulking for another few days.

(So he’s not really taking Jiho’s advice completely, but it’s a start, at least.)

Jaehyo finds him the first day that Kyung’s back, although it isn’t anything he hasn’t been expecting. He manages to fend off his friend’s questions, only answering that he’s staying with Jiho and that he’ll go back to get his stuff from Jaehyo’s apartment when Minhyuk’s not around.

(It’s too soon, to see Minhyuk again. He’ll not risk it if he can.)

Jaehyo’s frustrated with his silence, but he tells Kyung he’ll text him when Minhyuk’s not home so Kyung can at least come over and get what he needs to move back to Jiho’s.

(How ironic. Moving from Jiho’s to Jaehyo’s only to be moving back again so soon.)

But of course, Kyung forgets that even if Jaehyo is his good friend, he’s a guy with his own thinking, so instead of the empty flat Jaehyo promised him, there’s Minhyuk, standing right there in the hallway when Kyung opens the door.

“What – Jaehyo, what’s this?”

“Sorry, Kyungie, but Minhyuk hyung really wanted to talk to you,” Jaehyo mumbles, as he passes by to head out of the house. There’s the sound of the door closing, and steps fading away, and Kyung’s left with the last person he wants to see right now, standing just two metres in front of him in Jaehyo’s apartment.

(He doesn’t need to stay here; he can just leave.)

Kyung’s already turning to go back out, but Minhyuk grabs his wrist too quickly, and suddenly he’s trapped between the wall and a very warm body. Minhyuk gives him a bit of space when Kyung pushes, but leaves both hands on the wall, still effectively keeping Kyung where he’s standing. Frustrated, Kyung grits out, “If you’re trying to talk to me, this is a very uncomfortable position. Or are you actually trying to threaten me?”

Minhyuk doesn’t answer in words, just lifts up his hands and takes a single step back. Kyung’s finally feeling like he can breathe, although he still wants to bolt from the room. But maybe Minhyuk knows this, can see it in his eyes, and that’s why he’s still hovering way too close for Kyung’s comfort even if he’s no longer trapping Kyung.

After a really long silence during which Minhyuk just looks at him with those deep brown eyes, but doesn’t say anything, Kyung can’t take this standoff anymore.

“Jaehyo hyung said you want to talk to me. So talk.”

His voice is too harsh, his tone rude, and with his arms crossed in front of him, Kyung thinks he probably looks quite a sight right now. But MInhyuk doesn’t seem fazed, just takes a slow blink before he looks into Kyung’s eyes and says, “I’m sorry.”

(What?)

Out loud, Kyung manages to say, “What are you saying sorry for?” although his voice comes out more shaky than scathing.

“I… I was a bit too harsh when I spoke to you last time. I didn’t mean to sound so rude when I asked if you like me only because you found out that I have your name on my body.”

Minhyuk looks genuinely apologetic, and Kyung almost wants to believe him.

(Maybe he does.)

But all Kyung says is, “Well, doesn’t matter now. Maybe I really only think I like you because I believe in soulmates and all, hmm? You don’t have much to apologize for when you’re telling the truth.”

Now Minhyuk looks surprised, and is that… _is that hurt on his face?_ Too late, Kyung thinks, as his heart sinks, his whole chest feeling much too heavy and making it hard to breathe. At least his voice didn’t tremble when he said it, although that isn’t even really a comfort now.

“Are you… are you telling the truth?” Minhyuk finally asks, voice too cautious. His fingers are fidgeting, but there’re no other signs that he’s nervous.

(Why would _Minhyuk_ be nervous anyway? Shouldn’t it be Kyung who’s nervous? He’s the one faced with an unexpected confrontation.)

“Why does it matter to you? You don’t like me anyway,” Kyung mutters, and is taken aback when Minhyuk flinches at his words.

( _Stop it, Kyung. Don’t think about it. Don’t harbor hopes._ )

But maybe he’s really still a hopeless romantic at heart, because his chest clenches when Minhyuk takes too long to respond.

( _He doesn’t like you, Kyungie. He said it last time. It’s just sex and helping people who’re down. You’re nothing special. He’ll have done it for someone else._ )

His chest is too tight, and he’s almost going to shake an answer out of Minhyuk from frustration, when the guy suddenly blurts out, “I don’t know, damn it. I don’t fucking know.”

It isn’t the answer Kyung’s been hoping for, but it isn’t the one he’s been dreading to hear either. When Minhyuk slumps and sinks to the floor, Kyung thinks he’s doing them both a favour by opening the door and heading out straight away, in case he ends up saying something that might make the situation worse.

 

 

He doesn’t get very far before Minhyuk chases him, still in the sweater and trackpants he wore, and the rubber slippers he only wears to the convenience store.

“You need to stop running away from every conversation we have,” Minhyuk pants, trying to catch his breath.

“I don’t have anything more to say,” Kyung manages, hoping Minhyuk doesn’t hear the lie.

Minhyuk doesn’t comment on his flickering eyes, just says, “Okay, but I have more to say. Please hear me out before you run off this time.”

 

 

They sit at the bench in the park. It’s the same one he had sat on with Jaehyo last time, further from the apartment block than the one he had sat on alone all those Wednesday nights. Minhyuk’s rubbing his hands down his pants, and there’s damp prints left that Kyung pretends he hasn’t noticed, turning to look at the young trees lightly swaying in the breeze instead.

“I don’t know if I like you,” Minhyuk says without looking at him, “But I don’t dislike you either. It’s just, I’ve lived with the strong notion that I would never let the name on my body dictate my choices that I feel like I should never take a liking to you, even if I would have if it’s not your name I have on my skin. Do you get what I mean?”

Kyung moves his head slightly although it’s neither a nod nor a shake, so Minhyuk continues, “It’s like the exact opposite of thinking that the name indicates your soulmate, but it isn’t really either, because I’m still caught up and concerned about the name, just in a different way from the people who believe the name leads them to their soulmates. It’s almost as if I want myself to never like anyone named Park Kyung just so I feel like I have made my own choice. But that’s still letting the name influence my decision, which is something I’ve only realized recently, after you left, and Jaehyo talked to me loads.”

Kyung nods this time, and Minhyuk turns slightly. Kyung takes a deep breath, before he asks, “So, is that all you wanted to tell me?”

Minhyuk finally meets his eyes, “Yeah, that’s all I wanted to say.”

He’s not sure what else he had been expecting, but Kyung thinks maybe it’s time he stop having hopes over nothing, so he steels himself to say something so he can go, but Minhyuk suddenly speaks again.

“That’s all I wanted to say, but do you have anything you want to tell me? Please be honest, Kyung. Not for me, but for yourself, please be honest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will Kyungie do?????
> 
> Also, this chapter was really hard to write. But I'm glad I got it out. Felt like writing angst lately so I think it helped. Let me know what you think!


	9. Nine

Kyung spends way too long running through the different options in his mind. Minhyuk doesn’t press, just waits patiently as Kyung fiddles with his thumbs and consider whether he should save himself the heartache and insist that he doesn’t like Minhyuk if not for Minhyuk having his name on his body (like he had said earlier in Jaehyo’s apartment), or whether he should take a chance and say what he really feels, which is a hot mess of complicated things he hasn’t even begun to sort out himself. Maybe it’s the sincerity he sees in Minhyuk’s eyes, or maybe what Jaehyo has said has finally rubbed off him, because when Kyung opens his mouth, the words that leave it aren’t exactly what he had expected to say.

“I honestly don’t know.”

It’s the truth, but not all of it. When Minhyuk merely nods, waiting for him to elaborate, Kyung decides that maybe it’s time for him to stop running away and face his problems ( _so he’s kind of taking Jiho’s advice but whatever_ ). Taking a deep breath, Kyung says what he needs to in a rush before he chickens out.

“I kind of like you, but I don’t know if it’s because you have my name on your body or not. Like you said, I subscribe to the notion of the names being soulmates so even if I don’t want to, the thought creeps into my decisions, so I can’t tell you for sure if I like you because of it, or in spite of it.”

He probably sounded lame, but Kyung had run out of words (and out of breath). He’s not even sure if Minhyuk caught all of it, although now that he’s said it aloud, Kyung kind of just wants to dig a hole in the ground and bury himself in it. He’s staring at his sneakers, avoiding Minhyuk’s gaze, when the guy clears his throat.

“Thank you, Kyung, for telling me what you think.”

Kyung’s still looking at the ground, and he thinks that’s all Minhyuk’s going to say, until the guy adds, “Maybe…”

( _Maybe…? Maybe what?_ )

“…maybe we should do this the old-fashioned way. Date for a while and find out.”

Minhyuk’s words have him exhale a long breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding, but there’s a relief in the tightness of his chest when Kyung finally peeks out from under his lashes to look at Minhyuk.

(He’s smiling. They both are.)

“Okay.”

 

 

Minhyuk on a date is very different from Minhyuk when he’s a flat mate, Kyung learns. Not that he’s staying in Jaehyo’s apartment anymore, so it’s not like they’re still flat mates. Sharing an apartment with Jiho again is kind of weird, but in some other ways, it seems to be the most natural thing, even if they argue as much as they help each other out around the house. Also, _here_ , he has a proper room, instead of bumming around in the living room of Jaehyo’s apartment. It kind of sucks that Minhyuk’s further from him because they stay at different places, but maybe some distance apart makes the dating more enjoyable (at least, that’s what Jaehyo had said). Kyung’s just changing into a nice shirt when the doorbell rings and through the door, he can hear Jiho call out, “Just a moment!”

Kyung finishes buttoning his shirt, going into the living room to see a smartly dressed Minhyuk, hair slicked back and grinning cheekily, already wearing indoor slippers after Jiho had let him in. It’s not their first date, but it’s the first one where they’re going to a nicer restaurant on the pricier side of Seoul, and Jiho rolls his eyes dramatically from where he’s standing, before he announces that he’s going to make himself scarce. Kyung ignores him, still focused on Minhyuk, and he feels his cheeks rising as the smile comes unconsciously.

(It’s silly, why he’s so excited and happy to see the guy when he’s only just met him yesterday.)

“Hey.”

“Hey back at you.”

Behind them, Jiho (who’s still loitering even though he’s supposed to be in his room already) makes fake gagging noises, and Minhyuk just chuckles, then faux whispers, “I guess that’s our hint to get out of Jiho’s hair.”

Kyung answers with a laugh, letting his hands interlace with Minhyuk’s as they walk to the shoe rack, not letting go even as he struggles to put on his shoes with only one hand.

 

 

It’s been a month since they started dating casually. There’re no promises of it being something more, just a period for Kyung and Minhyuk to know each other better, and see if they like each other and want something more, regardless of the whole name thing. It’s not easy, Kyung thinks. He’s pretty sure he likes Minhyuk’s company, but he still doesn’t know how much of his feelings are influenced by the fact that he knows Minhyuk has his name on his back. They’re on the couch in Jaehyo’s apartment, watching some movie they’re streaming off the Internet on the television screen, and Kyung’s lying mostly on Minhyuk’s chest when he says, “Hyung.”

“Yeah?”

“I still don’t know, you know.”

“Don’t know what?” Minhyuk’s turned his attention away from the television now, peering at Kyung and lightly ruffling Kyung’s hair.

“Don’t know if I like you in spite of my name being on your skin.”

“Oh,” Minhyuk answers, too short for Kyung to know what he’s thinking.

(Maybe it’s a mistake to say it so openly, to ruin the comfortable mood they had earlier. But Kyung’s good at those, isn’t he?)

There’s a light press on his shoulder, bringing him back to look at Minhyuk, and Kyung blinks.

“What were you thinking?”

“Nothing,” Kyung answers too quickly, but relents when Minhyuk gives him a knowing look. “Fine, it was something. I was thinking maybe I ruined the date mood by bringing that up.”

Minhyuk brings a hand around Kyung’s waist, pulling him closer and Kyung fits himself against Minhyuk’s chest. This he understands. The physical contact, the way their bodies move and fit together. What he doesn’t get is the rest of it. The feeling bits, what they really think about each other, and he sighs without realizing. Minhyuk does though, nuzzling his nose into Kyung’s hair, holding him closer still.

After a long while, Minhyuk quietly says, “To be honest, I don’t know for myself either. Whether I like you _just because_ or…”

Minhyuk doesn’t finish his sentence but Kyung knows what he means anyway. He’s not sure what to say in response, so he doesn’t. Minhyuk doesn’t seem to need an answer anyway, the way he tilts Kyung’s chin up slowly but firmly to look at him properly in the eyes, before pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead.

“It’s okay. We’re okay the way we are now.”

Kyung closes his eyes, humming in response. He wants to believe Minhyuk. He really does.

 

 

They’re lazing in Minhyuk’s room one afternoon, Kyung just surfing the net on his phone and Minhyuk listening to some music as he looks up nutritional information for some project he has to do, when Kyung finds himself saying without thinking, “What happens if we never know?”

“What will we never know?”

Minhyuk’s only half paying attention, but Kyung continues anyway, “Never know if we really like each other just as we are and not, you know, because of the stupid name.”

This time Minhyuk turns around properly to reply, “Does it matter?”

“I don’t know.”

It’s the truth, one that Kyung’s not afraid to say aloud anymore.

(It’s an improvement.)

“Maybe that’s your answer,” Minhyuk replies thoughtfully after a pause. Kyung doesn’t get what he means, and he raises his eyebrows in question. Minhyuk mutes the music he had playing on his laptop, before he elaborates, “Maybe you don’t know if it matters, and maybe _that’s_ the answer. That it doesn’t really matter anymore. The name.”

“Oh,” Kyung thinks it over. Rolls the thought through his mind, spits it out and chew it back in again. It makes sense, sort of (if more on an intuitive level than a logical one) so he nods. Minhyuk’s still looking at him with a half-concerned face though, prompting Kyung to get up and slide his arms over the guy’s shoulders. Minhyuk’s worried expression eases just a little then, and Kyung mumbles, “I guess it doesn’t matter if we don’t feel like it matters anymore huh?”

“Hmm,” Minhyuk replies, initially serious, but slowly grinning, and Kyung has to step back. Before he gets to ask why though, Minhyuk gets off his chair, lunging onto the bed with Kyung under his arms and they land with an _oomph_.

“Don’t think so hard, it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

Even though he’s crushed under Minhyuk’s weight, Kyung finds enough air to laugh, and he tickles Minhyuk off him, because he’s right. Kyung thinks way too much about everything. He almost succeeds in reversing their positions, but gets flipped over by Minhyuk, body easily trapped under his again. Instead of the playful mood they had earlier, the grin on Minhyuk’s face suggests that he’s thinking of something _else_ this time.

“Kyung, what did I say about thinking too hard? Don’t worry so much. We’re okay. Trust me.”

Kyung’s response gets lost in the hungry kiss Minhyuk gives, but he doesn’t mind, because for once he’s not thinking, more preoccupied with feeling, and losing himself to the senses.

(It’s not a bad idea, thinking less.)

 

 

Kyung’s attempting to cook something more difficult than ramyeon, when Jiho says from where he’s sitting in the kitchen, “You’re happier than I’ve ever seen you before, you know, happier now that you’re with Minhyuk.”

He’s surprised by what Jiho said, and Kyung drops the cucumber pieces he had chopped.

“…why are you suddenly telling me this? I just dropped the cucumber into the sink and it’s all your fault.”

“Just pick them up and wash them before you put them into the pot. We won’t die from unwashed cucumbers anyway,” Jiho replies drily, then adds, “And I don’t know. I thought I’ll tell you because I don’t think you’ve realized it for yourself yet.”

Kyung does pick up the cucumber bits to rinse under the tap as he considers what Jiho had said. They’ve reverted to being good friends somehow, the kind who don’t always talk, but knowing each other’s peculiarities well from years of being together anyway. It’s not as strange as he would have thought, being friends with his ex, even if he still has the guy’s name on his inner arm.

(Jiho has since gotten a line of words tattooed over the characters Park Kyung on his chest, but it doesn’t really matter now.)

“Do we have _gochujang_?” Kyung asks, instead of acknowledging what Jiho had said. Jiho doesn’t comment, just opens the fridge and takes the red container of red pepper paste out, before he suddenly frowns.

“Kyung, are you sure people use _gochujang_ and not _gochugaru_?”

It does say red pepper flakes instead of red pepper paste on the recipe, but Kyung doesn’t want to give Jiho the satisfaction of being right, so he scoops a spoonful of the paste into the stew, even though he adds the appropriate amount of red pepper flakes in as well.

(If the soup tastes terrible, at least it’s Jiho and him eating it, instead of Minhyuk.)

 

 

Kyung manages to get a mostly decent tasting stew down pat after subjecting Jiho’s and his tastebuds to several failures. He’s wondering if it’s good enough to invite Minhyuk over for dinner for, when he suddenly realizes that he’s thinking about Minhyuk all the time, no matter what he does. It’s one of those realizations that seem redundantly obvious in retrospect, so Kyung just sits down and turns the new fact over in his head. It’s different, this thing he has with Minhyuk. They started off dating to get to know each other better, but it’s been about three months or so since, and they’ve not really discussed what they are now. Are they still just dating to know each other? Or is there something more?

More importantly, does Kyung _want_ it to be something more?

(Does Minhyuk?)

Instead of stewing over it as the Kyung of a few months ago would have done, the Kyung of the moment picks up his phone, dialing the first number on his list of favourite contacts.

Minhyuk picks up on the fifth ring.

(No, Kyung wasn’t counting.)

“Hey, Minhyuk,” Kyung says after Minhyuk said hi first. It’s not a particularly good conversation to have over the phone (Kyung wants to see Minhyuk face to face, read his expressions and body language when he asks), so he asks if Minhyuk’s free to meet.

“Yeah. I can go over to your place in half an hour?”

 

 

It’s only twenty-five minutes later when Minhyuk arrives, and he looks vaguely worried although he’s clearly trying not to be. Reaching for Minhyuk’s shoulder, Kyung rubs comforting circles as he leads them to the couch.

“You wanted to see me suddenly. What’s the matter?” Minhyuk’s voice is softly even and Kyung’s glad that Minhyuk’s the kind who knows how to moderate his feelings.

( _Kyung though… Kyung would have been scared and reacted with anger in response if he had been in Minhyuk’s position._ )

“You told me to be open and honest with you right? And to not think too much. So I called you once I started wondering… what are we?”

Confusion knitting his brows, Minhyuk opens his mouth for a second before he actually says, “What do you mean, _what are we_?”

“Like, we started dating to know each other better right?”

“Yeah…”

“So… are we still doing that casually dating thing? Or are we something more now?” Kyung observes Minhyuk’s face which hasn’t really changed much from one of mostly confusion. When Minhyuk doesn’t respond, Kyung adds, “Like, do you want us to be something more? Proper boyfriends?”

There’s finally comprehension on Minhyuk’s face. Kyung waits ( _instead of cutting in like he tends to with Jiho last time_ ) and eventually Minhyuk says, “I kind of assumed we were actually already… boyfriends, in a relationship, whichever you want to call it…”

“Ohh…” Kyung mumbles.

(He feels silly now.)

Minhyuk probably picks up on what he’s feeling, because he gives a reassuring smile, dimples showing on both sides. “Whatever you’re thinking, you’re probably just assuming things by yourself in your head. But regardless, know that I love you, and I’m sorry I didn’t make it clearer, or that you had to ask me like that today.”

Minhyuk continues talking, but Kyung doesn’t hear the rest of it, because his mind is still replaying the three words.

(“I love you.”)

Cutting Minhyuk off with a short kiss, Kyung takes a deep breath, surprised that the words come easily ( _sincerely_ ) when he whispers “I love you” against Minhyuk’s lips, the sentence more felt by the movement than the actual sound he makes. He says it again, just to be sure, and this time Minhyuk’s the one to cut off his words with a much less chaste kiss than the one Kyung had given.

“I love you, I really do,” Minhyuk murmurs breathlessly after they finally part to breathe. Kyung feels his heart becoming just a little lighter, and he thinks they both really mean it when they whisper more affectionate statements (and some dirtier ones) into each other’s ears as they make their way to Kyung’s room. If he traces the name on Minhyuk’s back later when they’re both under the sheets, it’s only because his fingers were moving past the area to cradle Minhyuk’s ass.

Maybe the names on their bodies mean something and maybe they don’t, but right now, with Minhyuk in his arms, Kyung doesn’t find it in himself to care either way, as long as he has this man by his side.

“Stay with me,” he says, in lieu of the other three words, because sometimes love doesn’t need to be proclaimed, whether in words or in names written against their skin.

Minhyuk looks at him from where he’s lying beside Kyung, dimples almost a permanent feature on his face now with how hard he’s still smiling.

“Gladly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much almost the end. There's just one short epilogue which I'll put up tomorrow, but I hope you've enjoyed reading everything so far. :)


	10. Epilogue

It doesn’t really matter that Kyung still has Jiho’s name imprinted on his inner arm, or that Minhyuk has his on his lower back. This relationship they have isn’t built on the fact that Minhyuk has Kyung’s name on his skin, not really. It’s built off their affection, their trust, their willingness to invest in the relationship and to always try to work things out. It’s not always a smooth-sailing relationship they have, and some days they argue just as any other couples do, but that’s just part and parcel of being together as two people who have differences.

Kyung’s learning. Learning how to be a better partner, but more importantly, how to be a better him. It’s funny. He’ll never have thought that the key to a better relationship was to be a better person himself, but Minhyuk inspires him to always want to better himself, and somehow, that’s how their relationship last. It doesn’t matter if Kyung doesn’t have Minhyuk’s name on his body, but it doesn’t mean he can’t have it tattooed onto his ring finger on their second anniversary anyway. The symbolism isn’t lost on Minhyuk, who laughs when he sees it, calling Kyung a hopeless romantic, even as he places a kiss on the cursive font of his name written in English on Kyung’s ring finger over the simple silver ring he had bought on their first anniversary.

(So maybe they’re both sappy romantics.)

It’s okay though, they’re okay with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the end. I hope you've had fun reading. :) If you liked it, please leave me kudos/comments. I appreciate anyone who's taken their time to read my writing :D
> 
> Also, some author's ramblings ahead. Feel free to skip if it gets too long for you. ^^
> 
> I considered making Kyung reject Minhyuk in Ch9 but I thought it's about time he grows up, even if only a bit, and to face his problems head on. Then, there's the jump from Ch9 to the epilogue but it's where Kyung properly matures, even though I didn't detail it. I don't know how you guys might feel about the relatively short ending parts compared to the longer built-up/complications before that. On one hand as a reader I would like to see more bkyung development, but on the other hand it'll have taken really long to write on my part, and might seem kind of boring (drama-free) in comparison for the readers compared to the earlier chapters. So I went with what you've just finished reading.
> 
> It's mostly because I believe a good relationship is one where love isn't grand, but a shaky one often has a lot of drama. By drama I mean unneeded/deliberate conflicts that could have been avoided if people talked things out. (There's bound to be disagreements but they need not become drama). Sometimes we want the drama more than we want the simple happiness that follows. That's kind of Kyung's state of mind in the beginning, although he chooses the simple happiness over drama towards the end. It's part of growing up, I think, to realize this. 
> 
> Either ways, I thought I'll mention it because I don't usually like how relationships-driven fanfics dramatize the getting together and oversimplify the end, because it emphasizes the getting together when everything is honeymoon rosy, but the actual relationship is what is hard to maintain afterwards. But I guess I went for this type of writing for this fic because fics are mostly about the drama (lol, at least this one is). If you're interested in reading an established relationship where the characters try hard to maintain their relationship, do check out my polyamorous Jaehyo/Taeil/Jihoon fic: [It's not that complicated](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7493121/chapters/17030268).


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